De-mystifying the ‘British girl’s night out’, or ‘Why do some British women dress like hookers when Saturday night rolls around?’

peacefulyorkshire

peacefulyorkshire

Ok, so the blog title is a little unfair. When Saturday night comes rollin’ in some British women don’t always look like hookers.  No, sorry, my mistake—sometimes they could be classified as looking like strippers. I am still trying to decide which of the two is a better description for my Yorkshire city on a Saturday night. Stripper or hooker…wait, maybe stripper. Maybe a hooker slash stripper. Maybe a hooker with a dash and swoosh of stripper.  Maybe a hooker stroke wannabe stripper. Whateveh you want to call it, honey–after 5 years of living on this little island in the North Sea, I am still trying to figure out why some British women let themselves pour out of their clothes on a night out. Yes, pour out is the perfect sentiment.

I decided to ask Cat, an English female friend  ‘So, why do British women dress like hookers on Saturday night?’

Her response? Because they are desperate and on the pull. And they think it looks good. ‘

(Cat, a devoted Marks and Spencer clothing lovah  is not one of these Saturday night ladies, mind you.)

I asked Carlo,  a British football coach the same question ‘So, why do British women dress like hookers on Saturday night?’

His answer—–‘They do!?’ (I had some serious laughing at this point)

As an American living in Yorkshire, I think that I have started to figure out the ladies night out in Britain. It’s simple, my lovelies!!

  • Just wear as little as possible in material as tight as possible.  Got it, little and tight are your motto.
  • If you have lots of flesh, don’t fret. Make sure it hangs out in abundance. Bonus if you can show your cellulite and cleavage.
  • NEVER wear a coat, we want everyone to see your gorgeous Primark outfit– which shows off your white (or orange depending on your style!)  legs.
  • yes, let’s talk about legs. If your legs are ‘larger’ than most you will need to expose them as high up as you can show them…. like up to where your bum starts is fine, no worries!
  • By now you should know that if you are really serious about your weekend then flats are a no-no. If you wiggle and wobble and can not walk properly in your eight inchers then these are the ones to wear!
  • Oh and before I forget. Probably best to wear all the make-up you own at once.

And here you are complaining to your British man you have nothing to wear to your next Christmas office party?? Just look in your lingerie drawer!

Feeling homesick? American tourists might be your answer.

yahooavatar15 There is no rhyme or reason, it just happens. Some days I wake up extremely homesick. Today, lovely readers, was one of those days.

Starbucks in one hand, plopping myself in front of the York Minster I sat staring at its Gothic spires. I needed space, time to clear my head of my negative fog.

As I was finishing the hot chocolate with extra whipped cream I heard those all-familiar voices like a much needed hug– American Accents! Here was the conversation between two American men that put me back into reality.

-Hey Tom, whats that church over there?

-Lets see, let’s look at my guide book…that there is the York Min-i-uh-steer.

-Oh, that looks purdy old. Should we take a picture of it?

-Nah, let’s get lunch!

(And then off they walked!)

It didn’t stop my homesickness, but their words sure helped me realise that I am living in such a different world then these American tourists! I came to the conclusion that I am not such an outsider afterall. Overhearing their conversation made me really grateful to be in the gorgeous city of York, in front of such a beautiful masterpiece.