Shite buggery knob bollocks… England are out of the World Cup


I write this thirteen minutes after the whistle blew in the England v Germany game.

I’ve had thirteen minutes to recover with a consolation croissant and a consolation cup of coffee… Sigh.

America was knocked out yesterday :( and now the UK follow suit against their uber rivals, the Germans (4-1?!? 4-1?!?!?!?).  Not the best 48 hours of sport I’ve ever experienced if I’m honest…

I watched the game with my Ma-and-Pa-in-laws and my guy, Mr Nice Guy.  There was much effing and blinging (well, the conservative equivalent of effing and blinding) when England had their second goal disallowed.  And as soon as that happened, the predictions of England’s demise started flying around the room.  Optimism had left the building :)

“The Germans look so much more of a team”

“Yes, they’re all the same size and shape, too”

“England have style, but they’re not as technical”

(“Well, at least they have style”, I thought, grinning inwardly to myself)

“Look at the Germans… they seem… so… GERMAN.  They execute every play like cold robots”

I burst out laughing at this one.  Watching the English in the living room was just as entertaining as watching the football on TV.

All in all, I think we (they?) were completely trounced by the Germans.  But, hey, at least we won the war! ;)

When your American-self lives in England and the World Cup is here: The true test of loyalty?


I have never seen England so erm, patriotic. England flags on cars? Puhleeeeeze  folks, this is England, one does not normally display such obvious enthusiasm. You might think that it was the 1950′s Queen’s Coronation. Or the English equivalent of the Fourth of July.  But you would be mistaken– because those England flags only come out for one thing in my experience. Dum dum dum dum…………….The World Cup*.

As I write this I am sitting on my Brown Ikea couch (the same one where Mr. Chill proposed) in my own personal World Cup oblivion. The England vs. Algeria game is on and Mr. Chill is in foetal position on the floor and shouting at the TV:


He doesn’t know  that I am watching him writhe in agony over Cappello because he is locked into a dance with the TV screen. (He also just kicked the air (!!!) just in case you needed to visualise body gestures). All I can say is at least my ears are safe because he didn’t manage to buy a zubuzaleh. Wait ….I had to Google that spelling. Whoops, sorry its Vuvuzela.

Thank god America and England were tied because I would have never heard the end of it from all my English mates.  One of our lovely readers wrote in today:

So ladies, who did you cheer for during the USA v. England match?

While I outwardly sported a patriotic red white and blue outfit, I secretly hoped that England would win. I would love to see the celebrations on the street. It is a dilemma as an Expat, isn’t it? One starts to question their loyalties.

Ok Algeria vs. England Game is over now. Poor England not doing so hot with a draw! Even Time magazine writes ‘Is England the most boring team in the world cup?


* Not in Wales, Scotland or N. Ireland will you see such a plethora of the England flag, obviously. I get the feeling that some Scottish citizens were a bit upset (bitter? under-doggish? jealous?) about England’s participation when I was in Glasgow and saw a popular shirt that read ‘Anybody but England’. Awwww.

PacificBird gives her take on the never ending football season…. click here

English behaviour / behavior during the World Cup is a little confusing


Ok, I’m trying to wrap my head around this.  And no doubt certain wordy commentors will set me straight ;)  These are the facts I’m working with:

  • English people favour realism over optimism.
  • English people don’t like to brag – but are masters of the understatement when communicating successes.  It’s like a code they all speak.
  • English people are not inherently patriotic.
  • English people root for the underdog.

But just before the World Cup starts:

  • English people think they will probably win the World Cup
  • English people (well some of them) VERY LOUDLY boast of how amazing their team is
  • English people plaster every surface of every item they own with an English flag
  • English people want to winwinwinwinwinwinwinwinwinwin

Now we’re smack dab in the middle of the World Cup.  I’m writing this the day after the most dull and depressing game of football of ALL TIME when the UK drew nil-nil against Albania.  (Made slightly worse by the fact that it was shortly after the 2-2 USA v Slovenia game that was AMAZING.)

I think the behaviour and reaction I’ve grown to expect is starting to return after that heinous game.  The whole ‘I knew this was going to happen’, attitude started to show by half time.

I still find it confusing, though.  The same thing happened the last time around by I was fresh off the boat so I don’t think I noticed so much.  Give me another couple of years and I’ll have it figured out…


Note:  I had this scheduled to go out a day after England got knocked out of the World Cup – thought I’d better publish it earlier after the England v Germany trouncing :(

The Scottish and English Divide: a single male Scot 'tells all'

yahooavatar15On occasion us 3 American ladies at She’s Not From Yorkshire post interviews with random Brits. This week, Owen, a single (take note, single ladies, take note!) Scot gives us his opinions on the fabled  Scottish and English Divide– and  everything else from visiting England’s chippies to the Simpson’s…

Tell our lovely readers a little bit about yourself.

I am male, Scottish, and born and largely bred in Scotland -  I have recently started regularly visiting various English towns (several in the picturesque north-east) but also mainly London and the Midlands. Thus I may not be wholly typical of most Scots/English! I am a newly thirty-something, newly-turned homeowner (just pre-crunch), who is trying to find some drive to finally de-clutter all previously acquired possessions and rediscover youthful ambition in order to decide where I want to go in life – or to just confirm that I am happy plodding along in my new little house!

And your work?

I have a good job,  if a little lacking in prospects, but also outside interests which compete for my attention and I probably should organise both better!!

What is the main difference between the English and Scottish in attitudes (if there are any) from your point of view?

I believe stereotypes have some use and do exist to an extent though I realise the dangers of generalising too much!  I would say the English can be a bit “chipper” – if that’s correct, more up-beat, possibly more confident without a bevvy in them first – though that is not possibly wholly true.  The Scots can be very proud (as can the English) and certain sections can be noisy and boorish in equal measure!

How so?

The Scots are always the underdogs which possibly seems to cause them to give up in sporting events and on balance England has often been seen as superior in many things e.g. football, rugby and cricket.

I’ve heard that opinion from my English boyfriend, too.

But, that said, Scotland has given the world numerous inventions and can stand as proudly as England (perhaps more so – my history could do with brushing up!) in terms of the number of pioneering people and inventions originating somehow from Scotland.

Yes. Like the Alexander Graham Bell chap.

It might be worth noting that several pioneering Scots (e.g. John Muir) made their fortune in the Americas – either through voluntary emigration or perhaps earlier through forced emigration by clearances. It is not as black and white as English land-owners and red-haired bearded randy drunken Scotch Picts, however!  Several land-owners may well have been Scottish – there are also some divides between English north and south and Scots lowlanders and highlanders. Several, perhaps slightly anglicised, land-owners (possibly simply through having business interests in London rather than any particular English favouritism) may have been hard on their more native Scottish tenants.  Thus it is as always a complex picture.

Do you feel out of place when you are “Down South?

I don’t feel hugely out of place when south of the border – oddly I am possibly more British than Scottish (although I feel one ounce of guilt with that lack of Scottish-ness balanced by one ounce of it being perfectly reasonable to be British and a mistrust of blind nationalism.)

I am aware of being a Jock – however I have been called Scottish in England (not sure it matters so much in London – except for Scottish bank notes)  But significantly (and possibly due to a slight twang in my accent from my years in the Midlands) I have been called English when in Wick! (Wick can be a wild place on a Saturday night). I have however been considered to have a broad Scottish accent by a posh Liverpudlian girl so it all gets a bit confusing.

Give us an example.

I don’t really notice being a Jock in London – though I do notice it a bit more in other parts of England.  I was at a fish and chip shop in the Midlands last year and when asked about salt and vinegar I was taken by surprise (as if they don’t have salt and vinegar in England) and stammered out “aye, a wee bit” – since I was speaking to a more working class fish shop operative (ok they may have been a middle class student I suppose but it was the outskirts of this small town away from the college. Upon returning to my guests house I was given my order which was identified by “a wee bit” !

How about that Scottish money people always moan about accepting  in England?

On balance though I only really notice people occasionally pretending to complain about Scottish money… generally less so now.  Ironically that has only been an issue in London when I’ve dealt with foreign bar staff.  Doubly ironic given that the Prime Minister and Chancellor are both Sots – the point I always have ready to fire at them if they complain.

Why do you think that the English and Scots don’t get along?

There is a some degree of rivalry and mutual resentment/mistrust – most commonly however which appears thankfully only as light-hearted rivalry. I don’t think they seriously hate each other – not when considered intelligently – more likely there are isolated cases of racism towards other nationalities like ones I have sadly witnessed where I live in Glasgow. There is friendly rivalry although there are instances of more serious stuff but I think that is people’s nasty behaviour coming out with the Scottish-English thing rather than being inherently anti-English.

But how about you personally?

I can’t claim to be immune from a borderline racist slur (if just thought) but this is just a way of making the pain or frustration inflicted by the other person’s behaviour or bad driving seem less…

That said, any deep-seated subconscious resentment (which is hard to shake off over many generations) can be traced back to the Highland Clearances and attempts by the centres of power in the south to subjugate or whatever the heathen people of the north.

The subsiding of any justified bitterness has of course been hindered by things such as the Poll Tax experiments, perceptions of Scotland’s supposed oil being raided – (more likely by Norwegian, American and other companies than England!) – and last but not least the Scots’ ability to wallow in sentimental self-pity! Look at the portrayal of the Scots in the Simpsons – it’s not that far off!


(If you have missed previous interviews in our interview series, you can click here .)

Fancy a game of Throwball?

avt_kapyork_large115Recently, I was talking with someone who had that all familiar twinkle is his eye.  He had a question for me that, in terms of my list of FAQ’s,  is right up there with “Why is it called the World Series if its not teams from around the world?”

This time it was “Why do you call American Football…. Football?  Shouldn’t it be called Throwball?  Because in real football they use their feet but in American Football you throw the the ball.  So why do you call it Football?  It should be Throwball.”

My response this time was actually in reference to an earlier post.  I remembered to say to him “I was off sick the day they had that meeting.”

His logic was off though.  It doesn’t make sense to call one Football and one Throwball if you use the logic that the predominant action in the game is what determines the name.  If you do that, then Football should be called Kickball.  I’m pretty sure no self respecting British football fan would agree to that.  So if you keep the name Football, then it would be more correct to add “(with a little bit of throwing)” to the name and the logical conclusion would be to rename American Football to Handball (with a little bit of kicking).

Football Football Football

You already know my feelings about the great British pub and the football that we watch in the pubs.   What about this seemingly never ending football season?  Forget Premiership, Coca Cola Championship and several other tiers of football leagues.  When there is a break in league play we get Carling Cup, European Cup, World Cup, national games, and friendlies - there must be more.  So even though July and August are “the off season,” football seems to go on all year long.  Saturdays, Sundays, Mondays, Thursdays.

“It will never be finally decided who has won the football” Mitchell and Webb - worth watching.

And fantasy leagues?  One must know every goal scorer of every match.  So supporting one team is not enough.  We must watch Match of the Day and Match of the Day 2.

My favourite part (and I’m serious about this) is after you watch Match of the Day or the Saturday Soccer Report – or whatever that Sky show is where you watch all the commentators watching football on their little screens with earphones and microphones attached to their heads.  After all the excitement in their voices and faces and the continuously raised blood pressure… the league tables come up on the screen to overview all the results of the day.  The man who reads out all the scores has the most monotone, unexcited voice.  I can’t get over the extreme excitement followed by the most uninterested voice ever to read football scores.  I giggle every time.  :)

Here’s a funny male perspective on discovering the delights in sharing the British football pub experience.

Happy Soccer Saturday!!