There’s been another out cry from a fellow expat and I’m opening it up to you lovely She’s not from Yorkshire ladies. One reader is American, living in South Korea and dating a British expat there. She’s said that he’s lovely, and funny and adventurous, but does one thing that makes her uncomfortable.
I am concerned about his overly affectionate behaviour with his mates. I just don’t understand it. And I don’t know if it’s just a British thing? Help!
When we’re out, him and one of his best mates will kiss each other (fairly regularly and it’s pretty over the top and drawn out). I find it rather unsettling so I broached the subject one day. He told me that they kiss each other ‘because they love each other’, as well as to get a reaction and he also said that he thinks it’s an acting/theatre thing (they’re both actors).
He said there are other guys AND girls he’s done this with back in England, but it’s not romantic or sexual. He’s also very openly affectionate/cuddly/huggy with his friends (including the guys).
It makes me uncomfortable, but at the same time I don’t want to change who he is.
I want to know if this kind of behaviour is more common with British men – do they tend to be more physically and verbally open and affectionate with their friends? I’ve never seen this kind of thing with American guys so it really puzzles me. I think I also need to make it clear that it’s unacceptable for him to continue doing this with the girls he used to openly kiss now that we’re in a relationship (even if it doesn’t mean a thing!)
If you’re able to give me your opinion and/or any advice, I would truly appreciate it as I’m at a loss.
Well, I would be uncomfortable if Mr. Nice Guy was doing any more than giving someone a peck on the cheeck. Man / woman, it doesn’t matter – those lips are mine… But I also know that Mr. Nice Guy isn’t openly affectionate, he’s never liked PDA. We hold hands, or have a little smooch in public, but other than that, it’s saved for when we’re on our own. So if I saw him doing this, it would be TOTALLY out of character.
I ran with the theatre crowd when I was in high school and I can easily imagine my guy friends back home doing this kind of stuff. I think it still would have made me uncomfortable, though. Hugs? Fine. Cuddling? Borderline. Kissing? Nonononooo. Maybe I’m just possessive, though.
What do you think, ladies? Does your British man kiss other male/female friends?
Thanks to Carolina.firefly who posted a link in the comments to a Guardian article about straight men kissing more. It proves you’re not alone, lovely reader!