Builders in Britain, the facts

yahooavatar15We’ve all been there. Walking down the street minding our own damn business when it happens. “Hi-ya Love, Cheer up!” or “Phwaaaa!” or “Nice legs!” or the worst: “Fancy a climb?” If you are like me, you avoid walking within 1o89 feet of a building site if possible. And you still probably get something shouted down from the scaffolding. No matter what the  hell you’re wearing, where you focus your eyes, well– any resemblance of having any female-ness you will be harassed. Who are these people, you ask? Oh darlings, they are the stereotypical British builder.

Builders enjoying yet another break in an ad to attract more builders to the trade.

Builders enjoying yet another break in an ad to attract more builders to the trade.

Frequently seen driving a white van, always running behind and over budget on your Ikea kitchen remodel, with The Sun‘s latest titty gal (always page 3) opened on his dash, shaven head, earring in the left (or is it right?) ear, generally in tatty old blue jeans.

There is something so ironic about those big burly builders in Britain. And it makes no sense to me. What is it? Its that builders here  take “tea breaks”. yes. You read correctly. TEA BREAKS.  They dutifully bring their little flasks to the jobsite everyday to sneak in their civilized cuppa. This generally occurs every hour, especially if its your house they are redoing. A strong cup with milk and two sugars makes the standard “builders brew” so I’ve learned.

This leads me to inform you that Builders have their own special tea here made especially for them called Make Mine a Builders.You can only buy it at Morrisons, (notice that Waitrose hasn’t decided to stock it, snobby little chain). And wait for it.. now there are even some Walker’s Crisps called “Builder’s Breakfast”. (No, you can’t buy those at Waitrose either). Despite food and tea catered for them… whatever, Builders in Britain generally tend to have bad reputations. Now, now, now… don’t think that I am prejudiced against builders. No way, my father is a builder-so I know all about those builders. But only American ones. British ones are a different breed that leave me confused, annoyed and wary.