American boobs remain in the sun on European beaches

yahooavatar15As an American in Britain, no doubt you will have gone away (or will go!) on holiday to a European beach at some point. The question as you spread out your beach towel, lather on the spf 105  sunscreen is then, will you go topless a la monokini like your European sistahs??

If so well, oh, dear me, you might be one of the few if you are in France! It seems that French women these days consider themselves too “prudesque” to be baring their breasts on the beach these days. According to a recent Time Magazine article, the numbers of French women going topless on the beach have fallen significantly, with 88% of French women surveying calling themselves “priggish or modest”. So who does that leave to be baring boobs on those European beaches? Why, apparently its the American ladies on holiday, of course! From the article:

The contrast with U.S. practices is hard not to notice. American women visiting France these days have few qualms about going topless. And plenty of young American women are only too happy to playfully flash their wares in exchange for a few beads. In some ways, the puritanical swimsuit now seems to be on the other torso — a new French squeamishness that will doubtless leave some Americans, well, titillated.

Although I wonder where did Time Magazine get this information that it is the Americans that remain topless. What, did they go around asking each woman what nationality they are from? As if!!

And to you readers, were you topless this summer on European beaches? I can fully report that unlike France, going topless in Spain is thriving on the beaches, just for the record—

To see the BBC’s  take on the issue (with no mention of American boobs taking over) click here

Being an American in Britain makes you accidentally sexy

yankeebeanDon’t deny it – whatever you’re accent weakness is, you know it’s there (you minx, you)

For many many many (freakin’ MANY) Americans, their weakness is the English accent.  And rightly so, might I add – English people can say almost ANYTHING and it sounds good.  ‘Bastard’ and ‘asshole’ are prime examples (pardon my not-french).  Not the friendliest or most pleasant of words, but said in a posh English accent it’s instant class… ok, maybe not class – but you get what I mean…

Bizarrely, this attraction can be the same in reverse – I’ve met countless English people that seem to think the American accent is the equivalent of a chocolate covered strawberry.

Now I’m about as ‘taken’ as they come – I’m hitched to an awesome Brit who’s the best ever.  As  a result, I think I tend to radiate ‘unavailable’ like it’s stamped, glowing across my forehead.  Everyone that knows me knows that I’m uber-taken, and that I’m crazy about Mr. Nice Guy.  I wonder if that’s why people feel comfortable enough to tell me when they think my accent is cute… although I always feel weird when it happens.  (To be fair, I think everyone involved does – it usually temporarily kills the conversation and causes some shuffling)

Here’s a list of some of the words that have caused said-shuffling:

  • Capo (American = KAY-poh / English = CAH-poh)
  • Tofurkey
  • Compost (American = KAAHM-post / English = COHM-pohst)
  • Capillary (American = CAA-pill-air-ee / English = cuh-PILL-ery
  • Route (American = RAOWt / English = ROOt
  • Tune (American = TOOn / English = CHEWn
  • Semi (American = SEH-my / English = SEH-mee)
  • Strawberry (American = STRAHW-beh-ree / English = STROO-bree)

I’m always surprised when someone thinks the American accent is particularly attractive.  I don’ think it’s bad or anything – it just seems so ordinary to me (for obvious reasons).

So, if you’re American and you want to be sexier, try moving to England.  All you have to do is chat and your accent will take care of the rest :)

How To Make Friends and Influence People (English Style!)

redlillocks

Hey lovelies, today we are proud to bring you a guest post by a another American in the UK, who calls herself ‘Redlilocks’– (insert applause!)

A quick introduction… I grew up in Pennsylvania but moved to Denver and then later to Wisconsin where I met an English man with a wicked sense of humour who made me laugh like no American man ever did. After a whirlwind romance, we married and I moved to Kent with him in 2001. Cut a long story short, the relationship didn’t work out & we divorced two years later. By that point, however, I felt so happy and settled in the UK that I decided to stay. I lived in Kent for 8 years and have only just recently moved to Manchester (oop north) to live with my new lovely man. This is not to gloss over the first 3 months I was here in which I spent either crying, saying, ‘pardon?’ to every person who attempted conversation or dreaming of Wendy. (No, not my BFF – the burger joint). But I stopped making comparisons and started to enjoy what the UK had to offer – and there was plenty. Including good friends.

Reading the comments, I felt compelled to write as it seems so many have such a problem making friends with British women. I have some fantastic friends here and genuinely love the UK. I relate so much better to the British mentality then the American ‘gung-ho’ attitude which always left me feeling slightly uncomfortable. That is not to say I’m reserved – by no stretch of the imagination – I’m actually very enthusiastic and out-going but I think I’ve learned that British people aren’t actually cold and snotty but they ARE more reserved and I have had to adapt the way I approach making friends with this in mind.

I have a lot of really great female friends here but have admittedly ‘worked’ for it – at least to start – but it’s been totally worth it and I’d like to share my advice. Bear in mind there are no guarantees here. After all, some people are just not very nice and nothing you can do will change that but do you really want to be friends with someone like that? No, I didn’t think so.
Let’s get started then.

MEETING FOR THE 1ST TIME:

Turn down the volume. I have turned my ‘volume’ of enthusiasm when meeting new people from about a 9 down to around a 5. This isn’t about not being yourself, it’s about being a more chilled out version of yourself .

Asking lots of personal questions doesn’t work. Whatever you do, DON’T ask a million and one questions when you first meet someone thinking that will break the ice. It won’t. They will think you are being exceptionally nosey – questions can come upon meeting them the 2nd, 3rd and 4th time. It’s like melting ice – yeah you can go at it with a sledgehammer to break it into a million pieces or you can warm up the temperature around it and wait. Believe me, the waiting is worth it.

Engage in pointless chitchat. Go ahead and talk about the weather for the first conversation. Tell them where you are from, why you’re here when they inevitably ask and you may need to smile and laugh while you suffer through their stories of holidays in Florida. If the conversation falls flat, let it. English people are not as uncomfortable with silence as Americans. It’s okay, you haven’t failed. Compliments are always welcome. Tell them you love their earrings or their shoes or their bag – it might start a conversation about how great Matalan is.

Keep it light, Keep it positive. DON’T complain about anything British (not even the weather). They will get defensive which is what you are trying to avoid. DO NOT TALK RELIGION OR MONEY. Keep it light and impersonal.

MEETING FOR THE 2ND TIME:

Be warm, not overbearing. You will find they will be a little warmer. Smile warmly back. That is all. Don’t extend your hand (You are not on an interview.)

Remember their name. This is sort of a no-brainer. Don’t be upset if they’ve forgotten yours. I can guarantee they haven’t forgotten you – being American brings with it a novelty value.

Be personable without being intrusive. Now is the time to be slightly more personal. Ask them where they are from, what they do.
Know your limits. Now is probably not the best time to regale them with stories of your childhood or how much money you make. There’s time for all that (well, not the money – that’s just not a conversation you want to have. Ever.)

Bear with the process. It seems long-winded. You’ll have to bite your tongue. You will feel like you are not getting anywhere but I promise you will!

MEETING FOR THE 3RD & 4th TIME:

Greet them appropriately. You may find by this time that they will be even warmer – you might want to give a kiss on the cheek if you feel it is welcome (NOT A HUG). If not, a warm smile always works.

Get to know them ‘properly’: Now you can start asking more personal questions, asking their opinion about something in the news, offer funny stories (preferably if you’ve done something silly – they love self-deprecating humour and it shows humility). Don’t be surprised if they start asking you some personal questions back and genuinely try to get to know you.

Don’t be scared. If you find you have things in common and you would like to see them again, invite them around for a cup of tea or a drink down the pub. You’ll be surprised how quickly the English will open up when they’ve had a few.

I think the main thing is not to try too hard – it will seem forced. My female friends (English) who have met other Americans find them scary – overly enthusiastic (which they don’t trust; they think it is fake, no matter how sincere you are) and nosey. What’s natural and normal for us is alien to them and they don’t know how to take it. So being accepted here is all about working around THEIR issues slowly until they are warm enough to you that you can feel very natural about totally being yourself. By that time, they will have (almost) forgotten you are American and the person beyond that will shine through.

You might not want to take my advice – it’s just what’s worked for me. I find with English people, once they DO warm up to you, you will have some pretty fantastic relationships. When I moved from Kent to Manchester, I had 3 going away parties because I had 3 different groups of pals (male/female mixed) that I wanted to be able to say goodbye to. It’s worked and I don’t feel like I’ve not been myself, or have denied who I am.

So now that I have moved I’m starting all over again – having to make new friends. I start a new job tomorrow and am hoping that in a couple months time, I have made some new friends to go shopping with or get lunch with or have a natter with over tea. In the meantime, I’ll smile politely, chat about the weather and laugh at the appropriate places when they tell me all about their annual trip to Disneyworld.

How do you find people in Britain who make you happy when you’ve just moved?  Click here

How a pair or rollar skates can help you make friends in Britain- Click here

British Men– murderers, self-depricating, and not loved by British Women?

yahooavatar15Oh, we have tons of posts about British Men. When the mood strikes, we write about our experiences because our British Men are a big part of our lives. We’re dating them, sleeping with them, married to them, bickering with them, getting visas for them…But enough about what we think! What do other ladies think about British Men?

Click here for a blogger who thinks that “British men can be scary” because of  manky murder cases she read about in Britain (well if you only read the murder stories you would be scared, right?). This lady wrote this in jest… I think.  Here is an excerpt:

“British men have been in the news a lot lately, but not for their admirable qualities. In fact, these men are rather jealous and insensitive and, oh, have a habit of murdering their partners. EXHIBIT #1: Colin Scully, a jealous husband, admitted to police that he strangled his wife Tracey to death after she called out “Paul” while they were having sex…”

Then there is Alexandra Hope, a British feminist. She gives us her take on what British women think of their male counterparts– and its not good. She writes that in comparison to her peers, even Americans ‘in their lack of sophistication’ are at least bunny boilers. I am not sure if she wishes British women were bunny boilers too? Does this make her sad? This specific bunny boiler comment makes me feel very patriotic, of course. “Well God Bless America” is what I say to you, my little feminista honey!. Anyway, here is an excerpt of her post:

British men are the way they are is because we, British women, do not love them. Yes, you heard me right – We, British women, do not love Men. In fact, I am not entirely convinced that we ever did. If we cast an idle glance in the mirror of world history and relevant literature, a rather uncomfortably impassionate image stares back. And that image is enough to give the rest of the world a right to label British women as largely frigid.…”

Oh and then there is this Telegraph article that gives the run-down of British men from ladies from all kinds of international ethnic backgrounds. These single ladies from abroad give their viewpoints while they try to get English men to “put a ring on it”. (Pick your favorite opinion!)

“Part of the problem is that the goal of British courtship is not simply to find a life partner. It is also about doing everything possible to avoid what we hate most – making fools of ourselves. No wonder, then, that extravagant compliments, overt flirtation and official ‘dates’ – all considered normal virtually everywhere else – fail to thrive in the land of the stiff upper lip. Terrified of humiliating rejection, British men, it seems, will do almost anything to avoid showing their true feelings until they are certain they will be reciprocated.”

Last there is a Ellie Levison of the Independent who writes that if you really want to get a British man to fancy you then you better be prepared to be a self-annihilator. Yes, wipe out that confident little American charm from your walk, darling! Well, I say yawn to that approach! Oh wait I mean, I mustn’t yawn I am so STUPID to yawn, I can’t believe I am such a fool to yawn! How could a guy want to date me when I want to yawn? (Ridiculous!)

“The study, by the anthropologist Gil Greengross, looked at the seduction techniques of British people, and found that taking the mickey out of yourself makes you more desirable. This is a peculiarly British form of humour, allowing you to both show off your achievements and show a sense of modesty and, found the study, rarely works when used on foreigners, who tend to take what we say at face value.”

And you, lovely reader, what do think? Do you agree with any of these stories based on your experiences?

Descaling your tea kettle as a feisty American in the UK:the why and how

yahooavatar15Let’s remind ourselves of The Mysterious Things you might discover upon moving to the UK as a feisty and intelligent American lady. Oh darling,  will there be plenty. No one tells you (well besides us, I mean)  that you might notice your British partner doesn’t rinse the suds off dishesduvet covers might wean you from your beloved sheets for good, that in this country Asbestos is no biggie despite what you thought, and that you will need to be able to make tea for 10 Brits and get them all right. Don’t say we didn’t warn you! But– amongst those initial discoveries is the reality that you might need to descale the tea kettle at some point to get rid of rust and limescale buildup. Descaling the tea kettle is a frequent joke amongst us 3 American women and a frequent laughing point when we have one of our Betty’s tea parties (wait, I hope Betty’s descales their kettle?!).

Us three American ladies on this blog are very different, and it is highlighted by our approach to the tea kettle descaling. Do you fall into any of these categories?

yankeebeanYankee bean: She doesn’t bother with descaling and actually didn’t know what the heck I was talking about at our first mention of descaling. She said something along the lines of  “Descaling? You mean cutting fish open?” Needless, to say she happily drinks her tea regardless of the mineral buildup– she won’t mind me telling you that the bottom of her tea kettle looks like a dandruff  storm that has settled for life.  I admire her relaxed nature to this and wish I could be so chilled about it.

avt_kapyork_large115Pacificbird: She only uses natural ingredients to descale to coincide with her uber-healthy lifestyle. She has tried numerous natural recipes and the most popular ones include using citric acid, lemon, vinegar, water… this goes along perfectly with her decision to give up caffeine and drink herbal cuppas instead.

Well, then there is me here–I can’t stand drinking tea from a nasty scaled tea kettle, with weird white things floating in the water. It just grosses me out. For example, I teach at a very posh college, but do those Old Boys bother to descale their very schmancy fancy silver coated kettle? No! So, I decline tea very politely. But in my home I descale my Tesco 5 quid bargain kettle every four months with those little descaling packets you can buy. By descaling I have had my cheapo kettle for years! Click here for a great little article on how and why to complete this important task. Gosh it’s so satisfying.

My English man and our long distance relationship

yankeebeanLots of people find She’s Not From Yorkshire because they’ve fallen for an English man – and so have we!  A comment left recently by Dreamer got me thinking about the logistics of meeting, falling in love with, dating, and possibly marrying and English man.

It’s not the first time we’ve been asked for advice about the long-distance idea, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.  But, I always feel nervous about giving any kind of advice, because every relationship is different – and long distance relationships are SO hard and fierce and all-or-nothing… I never know what to say.

All I can talk about is my own experience, so here goes!

I met Mr Nice Guy when I was 16 and living in England.  I knew OF him, but didn’t really know him for 2 years.  But, one fateful prom night, we kissed and that led to us hanging out and getting to know each other more.

After 2 months, we knew were in love and after 4 months I got on a plane and flew back to America to go to University.

So begins the long distance!  Emails at least three times a day and a phone call every day or every other day.  Plus a flight every 3 or 4 months – we both worked our butts off outside of Uni to fund all this, cos what else can you do?  Skype was just a twinkle in the eye of the world wide web, so there was no web-cam chats or anything so glam, but we used what we had.  We got through the initial ‘trust issues’ although the deeply-rooted ‘he’s-going-to-meet-someone-else’ worries never really vanished.

Long distance came with built in worries, insecurities, loneliness, and jealousy but it was counter-weighted with joy, love, laughter and adventure.  I spent 95% of my time waiting for the other 5% of my time to arrive.  And when it did, I would spend 2 weeks with Mr Nice Guy love-drunk, hazy, randy and happy only to fly home crying and already planning the next trip.

It was really hard… but it was 200% worth it.

Everyday, I woke up and asked myself if I still loved Mr Nice Guy, if I still wanted him to be MY Mr Nice Guy and the answer was always ‘yes’.  So I kept emailing and calling (and sometimes flying) everyday for 4 years until we came out the other side.  If, for any reason, the answer had been ‘no’, I would have had to seriously think about what my next step was.

I hate remembering the ‘long-distance’ stuff, but I LOVE that it worked out (and mostly that it’s over and now we have a regular-distance-relationship).  And as much as I hated the ‘long-ness’, it helped (/forced) us to sort through a lot of relationship issues and laid a really strong foundation for the rest of our lives together.

So if any of you are considering a long-distance relationship, or you’re smack-dab in the middle of one, or you’re struggling to keep one alive, we know how you feel!  Any lack of advice is just because we don’t want to suggest something that will feel wrong for you – only you will really know what’s right… but we do understand that it’s a difficult situation – and we’re here for each other and for you guys, too!

You searched: I am in love with an Englishman. Dating a hot British Man. American Woman and Manchester United fan meet-up for a date. Differences between Americans and Brits in bed.

yahooavatar15Dear Reader,

Us 3 American women from “She’s Not From Yorkshire” didn’t start this blog so we could focus all of our attention on English men. Or American men.  Or what’ s the difference? Or  what it’s like to date one (great!). Heck no!! But… according to our trusty Google Analytics, many of our trusty readers have found our blog by typing into Google:

  • “I am in love with an Englishman”
  • “I hate British men”
  • “Dating an Englishman long distance through the internet”
  • “How to make love to an Englishman this weekend”
  • “How to meet and fall in love with an Englishman”
  • “The Differences between American men and English men”

Your searches have made us laugh (because we have searched the same things ourselves!), and our posts about our Englishmen sure do get the hits! We  have figured out what it is…there just aren’t that many resources for American women dating/loving/sleeping with/married to British men, are there?! Its a topic still being researched– oh yes, that along with genetic cloning and alien abduction.

But if you are looking for answers (about as likely as solving the 1948 Roswell incident) and want a little humor about this topic, then have a look at this post to cheer you up when its the stupid Credit Crunch and its cold but  its almost Valentine’s Day so you might be looking for love so this might help.

EXCERPT:

“When it comes to the attractiveness of British men, American women are simply incapable of rendering a proper judgment. Bad teeth, the unibrow, Guinness bloat, doesn’t matter; hell, we think Tony Blair is hot. Studies have proven that British accents are, in fact, the number one cause of hot women dating nerdy men. (Number two cause? Woody Allen.) There’s nothing wrong with dating men who have British accents; Madonna liked her husband’s so much she got one of her own. But there are scoundrels out there—those who use their cute British accents to lure innocent birds to their flat for a friendly game of hide the blood sausage. Sorry.”

(Go on, click over, you know you need to have a laugh. What, its not like WE have any answers either!) And,  in the meantime, we will keep writing and trying to figure out life in the UK with British men too.

Yours Sincerely,

PeacefulYorkshire

Feminist, late twenties, looking for Sisterhood in Britain

yahooavatar15Leave it to us 3 “She’s not From Yorkshire” women (still feeling highly liberated, thankyouverymuch!) to get things rollin’ and spinning. Our last post on Looking for Feminism in Britain has really has got things hottin’ up in cyberspace–Whoohee!! The post has inspired a lot of thoughts, but has also inspired fellow blogger, Iota. On her post you you will see a plethora of insights into British Feminism from her readers, too. I am lovin’ it!

Now–men can be insightful about feminism too, especially a British man about British Feminism on a Sunday morning, 10:32am. As I was eating my scrambled eggs, Mr Chill said: “Hey babe, guess what I heard the other day when I was driving in the car? A FEMINIST radio show on Radio 4! A twenty-something man called in. He thinks there is a lack of feminism in Britain… because he sees a lack of sisterhood among women his age. And he wasn’t gay either.”

Still eating my scrambled I pondered this possibility. Lack of SISTAHOOD? Hmmm… does this mean that British women are more likely to slag each other off more readily? I had to have a listen online to the show! There were a wide range of callers with issues that bother them: affordable childcare, maternity leave, lap dancing clubs on the high street, equal pay, equal pay, equal pay. Did I mention equal pay?

But yes, the most interesting perspective for me was that guy who suggested that misogyny was not practiced by men but funnily enough, by women. “Where is the sisterhood?“, he asked.

I don’t have the answers. And I am not going to generalize.

But it did get me thinking…ok, here we go again…

Some American Expats in Britain are Scoffing Scones and Looking for Other Feminists

yahooavatar15“Feminism is a belief in the right of women to have political, social, and economic equality with men.” -Wikipedia

Before she made her move to Britain, there was once an American gal, age 20, that liked to wear gold kitten heels and had an explosive laugh. She was a feminist extraordinaire. Determined to be the “modern American Feminist of the 21st century”, she would happily get regular bikini waxes, but eat men on toast for breakfast. And while wearing Revlon all-day coral lipstick, she took the words of magazines like Ms.Bitch and that “Feminine Mystique” book as wise ways to live life.  I am telling you about her because that gal was once me.

Ok–So, what does this have to do with being an American Expat in Britain?

I ask you: Where is Feminism in Britain, dear readers? Could I have been Ms. Peaceful Yorkshire, feminist extraordinaire, age 20 in Britain if I were here then? I can’t figure out where the British Feminists are, nor have any other of my American Sistahs. We have spent many afternoon teas scoffing scones and wondering “Why is it so uncool to be a Feminist in Britain?” I don’t outwardly see a big feminist movement here nor do the English women I meet readily talk about woman’s inequalities. Ok, not like I am expecting debates on fetus rights or suffrage history over clotted cream. But how about equal pay salary?  Women in politics? Alan Sugar’s rampant sexism? We make small talk, like the weather. Celebrities.  New Topshop boots. Woman’s rights? Uh, no.

Doing some further investigative research into British Feminism, I found this Guardian article.Is Feminism in Britain dead?  Or just unspoken? Is it a DIRTY BAD ASHAMED WORD? It seems to be that saying  F*** or the word “Feminist” might as well be scaled on the same social “no-no” list.

I had to dig. Germaine Greer writes articles for the Guardian (always getting slammed by her British readers),  and another great lil’ Brit resource I found is a cheeky little “feminist” site called The F Word.

Just because I am living in Britain doesn’t mean I will stop calling myself a feminist–but do I need to be so quiet about it?

When you least expect it!

avt_kapyork_large115I never blog twice in one day, but I have to today.  I just had to tell someone that in one of the places I least expected to find another American woman – I found one at 9:15 this morning.  She’s from California and she’s been here 16 years!  In fact, she misses America so much she doesn’t go home to visit because she knows if she does she might not come back to Yorkshire and she’s got a son here to look after.  I even said to her “You are not from Yorkshire are you?”  When she realised I wasn’t either her face softened and it was like we were immediate friends. 

She also said she cried for the first 2 years living here.  And you won’t believe the exact words she said next: “It took a long time for people here to warm up to me.  Its like they used to look at me like I’m from outer space!”

I might try to give her an anonymous link to this blog.  She might find some comfort in knowing she isn’t alone.  I do!