Our Story (so far)

Thanks for the blog site.
I have been here for 3 yrs, and after this last trip back east, have decided to leave. I have learned to appreciate some things, but cannot come to accept the aloof British reserve.
I have felt like I live on a desert island, with permanent cloud cover.
There are some things I will miss, indeed, but mostly, look forward to thinking about them in the past tense.
Happy Election for us all!!!!!

Good luck with your move back!! I know what you mean about the ‘aloof-ness’… it gets old and it stays old…

After reading Michelle’s comment above, It got me thinking: Yeah now that I think bout it, Most of the American and Canadian friends that I meet have moved or are moving too!
As Yankeebean put, its the aloofness! The British reserve.
As Michelle wrote, she feels like there is a permanent cloud over her life…
I can relate to both of those and I find myself feeling often:

lonely
annoyed at the weather
planning my next sunny holiday
calling my family frequently

wow can I relate to this! Here comes my mini-rant (along with a disclaimer: I HAVE met friendly British people!)

I’m thinking of moving back home also- for many reasons, but one of them is the attitude of British people. I had always heard that the British were “well-mannered”, but in reality it DOES come across as aloofness, even smugness…

I long ago gave up expecting a reply when I say “Hello” to someone on the street- people would often just stare at me blankly like I was a crazy woman… even before I open my mouth, I sometimes catch women giving a nasty look (which leaves me thinking “Is there something on my NOSE?!” p

People have different reactions when they hear my accent (many assume I’m Canadian, and to be honest, I was tempted to go along with it, at least while Bush was still in office)… sometimes people are initially interested in where I’m from, WHY I moved to England etc… but I’ve found it difficult to make close British friends: it IS like High School- and I’m not from Yorkshire, so I’m not in the clique…

It has been a pretty disillusioning experience, to be honest- I was so excited at the thought of moving here, and was unprepared for the anti-American jokes on the telly, the attitude of the people here (smug comments) etc….

Yeah, I have trouble making close friends here too. I learned very quickly that when first meeting new people to always say yes to invitations. I never wanted to give up an opportunity to get to know someone better. It helped but I didn’t click with all of them. Especially in the beginning when most of the girls I knew were my fiances friends or colleagues – so I always felt I had to be sensitive to make sure I didn’t make anything ackward for him.

It is nice to know I am not alone!
Living in the West Sussex countryside and after 3 years I have not made any close friends. I have a few girls I go shopping with but English girls dont tend to let you in. Most people are soo standoffish – I have a sister in law 1 year younger than I am and even she and I aren’t close. Lovely girl but for some reason she like all the other british girls I meet are so standoffish. I am still trying to figure out why no one wants to be my friend Making guy friends sooo much easier – but that is another story.

HI EK!
Completely agree about finding it hard to find friends! I can for sure say that us three at “Shes not from Yorkshire” and other readers constantly moan about the SAME problem , Well, I am sure as you can see from other comments above!

The sister in law thing is especially hard– because you think, an instant friend, right? Well, mine is almost the same age as me, but I can’t connect with her very well, either! ahhh!!!

Did you see this Yankeebeans blog yet??? — its quite funny!

http://shesnotfromyorkshire.wordpress.com/2008/11/07/english-women-treat-me-like-im-an-alien-from-outerspace/

Brilliant! So glad to have found you. I’ve been compiling a list of US-UK blogs and I’ll be sure to add you to the next iteration. It’s amazing how much we all have in common!!!

What can I say? I’m a Brit living in the US, and I feel I need to apologise to you all on behalf of British women. And Yorkshire people are considered the most hospitable in the country, which makes it even sadder to read what you write.

I love the way people over here are so open and warm and friendly. I often think to myself “it must be a nightmare for Americans moving to England – what DO they make of us?” My worst fears are confirmed reading this blog.

There is always the aloof brigade, but trust me, there are plenty of other nice normal women out there too. Try getting to know the ones who are new in town. They’ll probably be less stuck in their ways and more friendly.

And the weather. I apologise for that too.

Iota! You don’t need to apologize! I know there’s no way you can take the responsibility of all of our experiences here. That’s just as bad as some Brits blameing me when “Bushy” got voted in a few years back.

I think one of the other difficult things is people that don’t understand what it’s like to leave your home country. And that’s something you DO understand… it’s hard.

Sometimes I feel like people think I’m not allowed to want to be American anymore because I’ve chosen to live in England. Like I should sacrifice my American-ness, or just go back home. Strange, isn’t it? I believe Karma will even it all out one day

Thanks for reading Iota!!

Hi Iota, I don’t think you need to apologise either. I completely agree that there are lots of wonderful women here in the UK. Just as there are some not so wonderful women in America. I’m so glad you have met warm friendly people in the US. There’s good and bad everywhere, but it helps us to have each other to lean on when we have difficult moments, which are inevitable when we remove ourselves from the comforts of home.

Like you say – its not wrong, just different. I think that is a lovely and open-minded way to look at life in a new country. I’ll shall try to think that way more often! Sometimes I tell people that one of the biggest changes that I’ve made here is that now I am comfortable being uncomfortable. The little things get easier to let go.

In fact, I hope that at some point if I live in the US again, I can meet a lovely British woman or two who will talk about the things they miss from home, or the things that are difficult about living in America. I’ll want to surround myself with people who understand these things and just maybe I can provide some of the support that my girlfriends, both American and British have provided over here!

Love your blog!

Hi, I’m a Leeds lass living in the middle of Kansas and I had a very hard time adjusting when I first got here. The women here were a problem for me as they all had the cheerleader mentality and I couldn’t relate to them in any way at all. After 33 years I can certainly hold my own, you just have to get to know people and adapt. I must say that when we went back to London several years ago I couldn’t relate much to the Brits and so I feel like I’m in no-mans land sometimes. Love your blog.

Hi Sylvia,
Golllleee gosh a Leeds lass living in Kansas. That in itself is a bit of flash fiction. Do you have a blog? Would love to hear more!
Thanks for your comment, and as I am in America this month for the hols, I have been inspired by your words… post to follow soon!
Thanks for reading

I’m so glad I found your blog – I just started reading but I love it already. I’m engaged to a brit and will be in England for the next 6 months before we go back to America to get married. We haven’t decided which country we’ll be living in. I guess only time will tell, thanks for your insights!

ps. I think I’m lucky, I LOVE my future mother in law and my future sister in law and they are very warm to me.

Hi Chrisitiana – glad you found us and wow – you and I have something in common. I am also getting married in six months and am in the process of getting a visa for Mr. Charismatic to come with me to the US (yes, I promise to officially announce this in a blog soon).

We too, are keeping an open mind about where to settle. Who knows maybe we’ll continue to have a few years in each country for a while. I have mixed feelings about the move because there are things to love and loathe about each country.

Keep us up to date!

Hi ladies,

I’d like to say that I love the website..it’s very funny and so valuable to others. It’s really important to establish a support network when you move to a new country. I found myself in a similar situation when I moved to the US five years ago and if it wasn’t for my British group of friends, I don’t think I would have survived!
I’m actually from Yorkshire but I’ve had to return here until my new visa starts in the summer (don’t you just love visas!) and then I’m straight back there on the first available plane!
SO much of what you say in the site works both ways and I found myself laughing and remembering myself when I first moved to the US..the homesickness, the misunderstandings with the language differences, driving on the opposite side of the road..oh what fun!!!
Now I’m back here and I honestly feel like an alien in my native Yorkshire, apparently I talk funny. I was even asked if I was Canadian!!!! I really didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
I know I’m not American but I do understand where y’all ( I love saying y’all…5 years in the deep south did that to me!)come from so if I may here are the things I miss most about the US…
… my boyfriend, the sun!, restrooms in stores, people saying excuse me before they walk in front of you ( this really drives me crazy here!), skippy peanut butter, good cheesecake and good shopping hours!!

Once again thanks for the website and I look forward to reading more blogs.
Amanda )

Hi!

I came across your site by chance and I absolutely love it! I am madly in love with a guy from England, but I live in the US still. He wants to move over here, but I want to move over there… sooo yeah we have a bit of a dilemma, but I’m sure we’ll end up staying in the US.

Anyway, thanks for your blog. It makes me smile

Hi J–
A post for you inspired by your comment— which is a common problem among international relationships.
Thanks for reading!
PeacefulYorkshire
An American Woman and a British Man, where should they live?

Same story…met a guy from England, wants me to move there…glad I found your website.

To complicate things, I will be bringing my 10 year old daughter.

Any advice is great!

I am from Florida so I don’t know how I will fare in the cold. I know I will miss my tan and shorts for sure.

Planning trip there in the next few weeks, destination Harrogate. I am a friendly person so the comments about the standoffishness has me concerned. My daughter may do well she is a bit standoffish (you know 10 going on 17) but I’m not…what’s a mom to do? Any comments about the english schools would also be good.

Thanks so much for the response back about school. I am going to have her read your response.

This was a big concern for me and you just alleviated most of my fears.

Everything seems to be falling into place for this big adventure.

I sell insurance here and my job is going to end at the end of the month, I have a customer from England that came in the other day and invited me to tea…so guess that’s a good sign too.

I am very excited now!

Girls! So thrilled to have found you!!! Love your site. Midwestern girl, who lived on the west coast for 8 years, now finds herself lost in Yorkshire….missing sunshine and friends….

Good to find your blog….Also another US expat (due to husband’s job) living in the West midlands of England. Moved from downtown Chicago to a quaint little town…..oh the adjustments!

Welcome to our newest readers/commenters

Amanda – How nice to hear from a Yorkshire lass! I am right there with you on the visa issue.

J – Keep us posted on your plans. You can’t go wrong either way because there are fab things about living in both countries!

Cinda – It is great that you have an English person to chat with. Have her/him make you a proper cup of tea – it is an important skill in case you head this direction!

It was just the American in me… Glad you found us! You and I have the West coast in common. I miss flip flops!

A Good Scottish Name – One great thing about the UK is the proximity of big cities and pretty good transportation to them. Its not Chicago but at least you can find a bit of hustle and bustle when you crave it! How are you settling in?

I love hearing about other women’s experiences moving abroad. Keep it coming!

Hi! I’m a young canadian woman and I’m moving to west london in 2 months (still waiting for my visa)
I’ve just discovered your blog and I love it!!
so inspiring !
I’m so afraid of leaving my frenchie town (cuz yeah I’m from a french family) and ending up alone in Uk… I’ve met that maybe-mr-right-guy during the holidays in London and we are still in touch so I hope he will there for me… but people in uk are so distant sometimes we never know what they really want or think… and neither if they are really into you or something… I will miss my montreal for sure…but I hope find what I’m looking for in London town…
I’ll read your blog to keep myself focused and to laught about what will certainly happen!

I’m surprised at all the Americans living in Yorkshire. I’ve been here since fall, attending grad school at Leeds Met but living in the market town of Skipton. I’m an Anglophile so that helped with the move (and I lived in York for a few months in 2006) but I’m still working on the ‘making friends’ part too.

To wit, it seems to be easy to make acquaintances BUT, it’s much harder to make friends. I’m not working so I have no co-workers, I only see my fellow students once a week and I spend most of my time alone. I’ve gone to my local – but people there are already in couples or groups. Since, I’m in my mid-50s, hanging out at a club to meet people isn’t really a viable option. (Not without looking like a cougar in search of young meat – which I’m not.)

I’m also single and have tried a couple of dating sites…and so far I’m not too impressed with the Yorkshire guys. Believe me, it gets harder to find “good ones” as you get older. (My theory is that women are smarter than men and therefore will hang on to a good one…whereas men may very well leave a good woman to search for greener pastures…) Hate to be negative but there is a REASON that a lot of these guys are single!

Whew! Thanks for letting me vent. I do feel better now…

LOVE the blog posts.

If ANY of you ladies ever come out Skipton way, I’d love to invite you to dinner so we could really have a good “chin-wag”. Not sure how we could connect in person – maybe meet at a public place?? =]

Hiya Happy Go Lucky and Wordgoddess,

I can really relate to you both.

Happy Go Lucky – it is strange when you are in that transition period and know you are about to move to another country but you are still in the waiting process. I’m right there with you. I hope you get your visa soon and that the move goes well!

Wordgoddess – you must check out the American meet-up groups. Both York and Leeds have one. I’m not sure about Skipton. I was in grad school my first year in Yorkshire and I remember that feeling of only seeing classmates once a week. It was so hard to connect with people with so little time to get to know them. And it is hard spending the other days alone. I really feel for you. I think your theory about women holding on to the great men is a good one. I’ve always found people at the local fruit and veg shops or weekly markets are up for a chat. Especially if you become one of their regular customers. Can’t say I ever met up with any of them (men or women) but they are easier to get to know and well connected in their communities. We are anonymous so our policy is not to meet our readers. Otherwise dinner sounds great!

Hi Wordgoddess
You have inspired a post and hence I have written:

http://shesnotfromyorkshire.com/2009/03/19/how-do-you-find-people-in-britain-who-make-you-happy-when-youve-just-moved/#comments

Hope that helps!

PeacefulYorkshire

Hi,

I’m glad I found this site too! I’m an american who has lived in Greater London for 9 years now (married a brit). In all this time, I still haven’t met any good friends (keep in mind, we have a 6yo daughter so I’ve been and done all the baby/toddler group mingling as well). I’ve got 1 friend, if you can call her that, whom I go shopping with occasionally and that is it…and she only calls me when her man isn’t busy spending time/money with her. The “aloofness” of UK girls is REALLY getting to me…I want to find some girlfriends who will just open up and chat, chat, chat! Because I feel isolated, I often find myself wanting to uproot and take my daughter back to Texas so I can see my parents and friends again. It is so hard b/c financially, my husband and I are better here. We have an age gap and he would find it too difficult/expensive in TX. So if I did move, he’d stay here. That would NOT be good for our daughter….so I’m feeling very torn right now. Any tips how to get over all this??

Hi Lisa,
Welcome to our blog!
Just posted about your situation, I hope that you find it helpful.
A Reader in London ponders her return to Native Texas

This is really interesting. I have lived in the UK, mostly London for 30 years and am originally from a tiny place in Nebraska.

Making friends always came easily here, more so than at “home” I think. I wonder is it different for men, or is it to do with living in a big city?

I’ve found that alot of UK men are more laid-back & chatty than the UK women…that’s just my experience so far. I’ve heard quite a few Uk men say the same thing…that lots of the women are sorta reserved and tight-lipped. My husband’s last wife was british and he agrees. hehe

Hi all at SNFY, Ive linked to your holidays blogs in my recent post–hope you’re ok with that!

I love your blog so much! I’ve read almost every single post and comment!

Here is my situation- I am in high school (Secondary school) And my life goal is to become a citizen and live in England. Despite my family’s best attempts to change my mind about that, she can’t, and neither can anyone else.

That’s why I love your blog so much. I’m sure you’ve had the same doubts I am having. I’m sure you’ve dealt with the lack of support. This is the one place where I get a general idea of what my future looks like- and I love it!

Anyway, I have a few questions. I’m just trying to get some idea of what’s going to be happening in a decade or so, and you would be the coolest if you could answer them (Okay, okay. You’re already the coolest)

-What is the best thing about living/moving to England?
-What is the worst?
-What was the hardest thing about moving?
-Besides family, what do you miss most about America?
-How long was it before you started using the word “home” again?
-What is the least pleasant difference between England and the U.S.?
-The most pleasant difference?
-If you were to google British culture, how many of the results would you say are true/realistic?
-What are some of your reasons for moving to England?
-On a scale of 1-10, how happy would you say you are in England/
-Is living in England what you thought it would be?
-Do you plan on moving back to the U.S.?
-And finally, would you say England is worth all the drama and pain and tears that it takes to get there?

A lot of questions, I know, but thank you in advance.

Hello Taylor!

Thanks for stopping by, I’m really pleased you’ve joined us!

Man, that’s a huge list and I feel like I could blog about every single one of those bullet points one at a time…

I’m going to copy your list into a blog post and try and come up with some good answers More info soon!

Thank you so so so much!

[...] 15, 2009 by yankeebean We recently had an SNFY comment that got me thinking.  One of our readers is planning to move to England when she graduates from [...]

I am a Texan who is looking to move to London and make it my home for good. I have bookmarked your page and I have looked at it a good deal today.
I am looking to make friends here before I go, as well as get tips on what I can and cannot do for work/employment.

I have always dreamed of meeting “the one” and making my life in London. Texas has never called to me in the way that London has, and I have to say, it is good for me to read the good and the bad here on this page so that I have a good idea of what could happen if I am not aware of it.

I am not putting off my life any longer. Onward with the paperwork and such to get my life in order.

Hiya Dixie,
Welcome, welcome to SNFY
Well you have come to the right place to get a view on what life is like in England– our disclaimer: we *always* promise to give you our honest opinions ’bout living here in the UK as an American chick.
you might enjoy this post from Yankeebean:
http://www.shesnotfromyorkshire.com/2009/07/15/living-in-england-the-good-the-bad-and-the-the-fugly/
Let us know how it goes making the move!
(We’re always up for a good story… and so are our readers!)
peaceful xx

Good afternoon. Returned on Monday from a 10 day trip to visit my honey in Chatburn. Also spent some lovely time in Clitheroe, Nottingham, Barrow Upon Soar ?:) and York. Met my fiance’s family and they are fabulous. I love, love England. The scenery is breathtaking and the people are wonderful. Also fell in love with proper bacon and crumpets. I could eat them every day with Lancashire cheese. Can’t wait to go back at Christmas time. PS Also love reading your stories. Thank you.

Hey girls,
Just wanted to say that I am an English woman, and firstly-I absolutely LOVE your blog after recently discovering it!! I also wanted to tell you that I used to have a best friend called Valentina who was Californian, and personally, I loved the directness & friendliness that used to radiate from her-it was just like myself (I think I was born English by mistake, I should really be American). So us English women aren’t all the same….honest!! Valentina eventually moved back to the US to work a few years ago, and I miss her still…
I’d love for you to read my blog sometime, and pass any comment you see fit-good or bad!
Best wishes
Julie
http://www.madenglishwoman40.blogspot.com

I-129F for those of you out there not familiar…the fiance visa. Yankeebean, follow up to our brief comments on the links tab. Good news … after a little over 2 months, my fiance and I received our NOA2 today from the Vermont Service Center. Very excited and still in shock, expected it to take 5 months. Next step (which many are probably familiar with) is the National Center and then on to the London embassy. Hope everyone is having a great week.

Hi Ladies!
I’m a British returned expat to the States! I thought when I returned after living in the US for 7 years that I would never look back – how wrong I was! There is so much I miss about American people – the ‘sharing’ … of everything … from conversation between total strangers … to craft patterns! The only community spirit here is behind the bar at the local pub.
I want to know what American expats do here for Thanksgiving??
My young daughter is an American citizen and I want to celebrate it!

Home-from-home sick! (It’s a shame crumpets and bacon don’t pack well…)
Sarah xx

Hi Sarah

I’ve celebrated every Thanksgiving every year since I moved to the UK and it is SO FREAKIN’ FUN. In my experience, English peeps are psyched-up to go to an ‘authentic American Thanksgiving’ and get really excited. Every year it’s been SO fun – good moods all around!

A few recommendations:
Take the Thursday and Friday off (that’s the thing that still makes me homesick, no auto-day-off. After the first year I’ve booked time off work specially)
Be prepared to talk about what Thanksgiving means and the history of it because EVERYONE will ask
Gut a pumpkin now and freeze it because finding pumpkin at the end of November is blasted impossible.

Have fun!

How about a reading list / movie list for someone just getting to know England, or starting a distance relationship with a Englishman and wanting to know everything “England!” ? (Etiquette, basic history, pop culture) I am American; have lived for a long time in Asia and have somehow managed to learn next to nothing about Europe/England. Where to begin!?

I just found you guys today, and have enjoyed reading. I think it’s great that you three found each other, and even though you’ve now spread out location wise, are keeping this going. Between the three of you, there’s a something for every expat to relate to. Well done!

Hey Ladies! I love the blog! I am an American girl planning a transatlantic move (for my own wonderful Brit) after I finish my Bachelor’s degree. I enjoy reading your insights, and I know now that it is possible for a “yank” to survive other there. On the plus I’m from Seattle so the rain won’t bother me TOO much!

I just wanted to say Thank You to you ladies fro writing this blog. I moved to the UK in January from Michigan. I Also brought my two daughters, and married a brit. We love it here and would never think of going back, but it can be hard at times. Thanks again for sharing your time and your thoughts with us!

Hi Starle,
You are most certainly welcome! Thanks for stopping by, let us know how you are getting on!!

Glad to have found your website. I have lived in the Northwest of England for 3 years. I am really missing the USA! LOL I see a lot of observations and experiences that you ladies have talked about, are things I have experienced as well.
I will visit again.
Thanks!

(Anyone know where I can buy Kraft Mac & Cheese? LOL!)

I am so glad I found this blog! I thought it was just me who was having trouble making friends over here and well so many of your thoughts, feelings and reactions are so similar to how I feel about living in the UK – it does make me feel better to know I’m not alone. Not only that, but your sense of humor about a lot of it is refreshing because when I’m feeling lonely or frustrated I can’t always see the funny side of things. I moved to the North West of England to marry my British sweetheart a little over 2 years ago and have finally reached a breaking point of missing home so much I have decided I want to move back. (the seemingly unrelenting rain in October/November broke the camel’s back) My husband is willing to go but we won’t be able to move back immediately, of course, finances, bad economy, and logistics dictate we stay at least another year … so I know this blog will be one of the things to help me make it through … that and Skype and a Costco membership my husband told me he is eligible for at work! Thank you so much.

Hi dragonflysky – thanks for stopping by!! Good Lord, I remember it well – it’s not easy jumping ship to a new land. A big turning point was when I met the other Not From Yorkshire ladies and finally had a place I didn’t have to keep my voice down The phrase ‘letting off some steam’ comes to mind…

So welcome, I hope your move goes smoothly – keep us posted with how it goes!

Hey Ladies, I have started a website http://www.iloveyouraccent.com
Its for UK/US dating.
Please check it out. I love your site, its very amusing and informative.
By the way, I am an Essex girl now living in Florida.

rochelle@iloveyouraccent.com

Hey Ladies! I need your help!!!!!! I will be meeting the British parents for the first time fairly soon. Terrified doesn’t even begin to describe it! Are there any tips you can offer? Hugs vs. cheek kisses, handshakes, conversation topics? Any thing will help! Thanks! Wow, I just realized how many exclamation marks I used :p sorry.

katieseattle,
I was so nervous too! Things went really smoothly, but his parents did go in for the hug and a kiss on the cheek. Conversation topics were really very simple, we talked about places we had visited in common, some of the places we most enjoyed in the respective countries, our favorite places in our on country. They seemed very interested in letting me talk about what I was doing here, how I enjoyed it, and also wanted to know more about where I was from, what I had done that brought me to the lovely UK and what I thought about things that were going on in America from an expat point of view. And of course wanted to make sure their son was treating me right! I have mentioned this on here before but when I was done visiting, my British beau told me his parents loved how “American” I was. Unsure how to take this statement, he explained that they like my enthusiasm, and my positive attitude. So I guess above all else, just be yourself! Good luck, I am sure they will just love you! let us know how it goes!

I have to say, I LOVE THIS SITE. I stumbled across it and I am thrilled. I am 27, divorced (eek!) and working on getting my documentation together for my visa in February 2011. It is so great to meet others like myself. If you ever need a fourth correspondent, I’m the Texas advertising exec that visited London on a whim for 4 days and fell in love with the place and hasn’t looked back since. I’m actually spontaneously going to London for holiday one more time (just because I can’t wait until the spring, soooo impatient) to celebrate New Year’s in London and I’m over the moon. Anyway, thanks so much for sharing your stories, I will bookmark the site and keep updated as it gets closer to visa time. Thanks again!

I am so glad I found this website! I have been living in England for 14 years and at the moment feeling very homesick. I am orginally from Kansas came over to work for a year met the love of my life and stayed!
It is great to read what some of you miss from America and how those of you feel once you have moved back. At the moment I do not know what to do. I do feel a huge urge to move back but I do not even know where to start and where I would want to go. All the things about little holiday and the health care scare me and my husband even more!!

All of your stories are so inspiring! After one long year of long distance and missing England, I have finally gotten my break: a basically unpaid internship for 6 months. While it is DEFINITELY NOT ideal, I am crazy enough to accept it! For me, and my romantic self, being back in the country I love with the man I love is worth every penny I lose. To hear all of your stories about struggle and visa issues and attempts to stay… really makes me think that all of my hopes and dreams are possible!

I just found this blog today and I LOVE it!!! I’m From Texas and my fiance is British. Wedding in Oct and moving to the UK in January (hopefully the Visa will be approved by then, it all depends on that really). It’s fun to read about your experiences. Also making me a little nervous! lol

3 months into my transition to England and less than a month away from my wedding I am very happy to discover your blog. Like many of you I am here because I have fallen in love with an English man, and getting married. Living outside of Manchester as oppose to London, I haven’t run into many Americans… in fact I think it’s very rare here because I keep getting this annoying question from every new British person I meet, “You left New York City to live here? WHY??” It’s infuriating, probably because at times I ask myself that same question, but the truth is that my adventures in New York are finished and now I am ready to begin a brand new Chapter. It’s just refreshing to know there are others who are going through similar experiences.

This blog just replaced “pandora radio” on my bookmark bar because as we all know, it’s useless to have that here…

It is a coincidence that Peaceful Yorkshire calls her love Mr. Chill… this is the reason why I decided to write, I just had a feeling of understanding where she was coming from.

I met Mr. Frost back in the summer of 2009. We met in Madrid, while we were both there on vacation. I never lived in England, but spent a while there with him during the summer. Right after Madrid I decided to take a flight there before returning to California. We tried the long distance skype dating… haha remembering it makes me laugh, which didn’t last for more than 4 months when we decided we couldn’t be apart anymore. Then he came here. We have lived in a small university town for the last 2 years.

Being with Mr. Frost has been an amazing learning experience, a defiance to both our realities. I never thought I would meet, much less utterly love and adore, a person who was the complete double and yet opposite of me, the parsley to my cilantro…

But more elements have added a twist to this relationship.
1) The speed at which it all began
2)We are both from big cities and we are now in the middle of nowhere
3)I come from a well to do family and he comes from lower middle-working class family
4)I am a PhD student and he is a self made man.
5)I am a gemini and he is a capricorn… and we fit the profiles for these signs to the T, when we checked we thought it was funny and eerie, they are in opposites sides to each other on that horoscope wheel.
7)When we met I had lived in at least 5 countries and traveled around the world non-stop since I was 18, Mr. Frost had only been to a concert in Croatia and Euro Disney when he was a “young lad”, since he really prefers to stick to his own thing…
6)And last but not at all least, I am of Mexican ancestry, as Mexican in my ways as you can get. I will also add in that I come from the north of Mexico from a very outspoken, friendly, open and affectionate family, and from a city where the climate is, as he says, “lovely”.

So you must imagine what that is like… I have thought about writing my own blog about the mishaps and misunderstandings we have been through… and how yet I now prefer to have english pancakes with my coffee for saturday breakfast and he prefers to have a breakfast burrito with his tea.

I am glad you girls have put the word out there and hopefully I will contribute to you as much as you are now contributing to my experience.

Thank you

Add me to the list of American ladies who have fallen for a Brit and is making her way to the UK! No doubt I’ll be on this site often – and I’d love to meet some of you all sometime!

The journey of me and my Brit has not been – on the surface – a particularly easy one, but at the same time, it has been magical! We have known each other for 4 years, meeting at a conference in New York. We both have our own consulting firms, doing similar work in the US and UK respectively. We became fast friends. The attraction was undeniable but we remained friends only – we were both married at the time, him with kids.

Over these few years we have stayed in touch for business. Then last spring came an opportunity to work together on an international project. At the same time, our previous relationships were both coming to tumultuous endings. We supported each other throughout difficult times, and last summer when we landed (together!) the contract for the international contract we’d been working so long to get, we celebrated together!

So as I dealt with an angry ex, a disappointed family, a house unsellable in the present economy, all the while supporting myself and my young company… and he dealt with the financial challenges of separating from a wife who doesn’t work and the 4 kids he supports… we took gentle, loving care of each other. Though I still ‘live’ in the US and he in the UK, we have not gone more than 2 weeks without being together. We have set our priorities, maintained our responsibilities, and found – in each other – the other half we’d both been looking for.

And now, I’m so thrilled to say that we’ve decided to move forward with formally living together, and sharing our lives. I’m renting my home here in the US and am going to stay with him in the UK. We’ll base ourselves there for our international work, which takes us to Europe and Asia, and still on a regular basis the US. The decision for us to be in the UK is also very important in that he is, and I hope to be, a very important part of his children’s lives.

There has been nothing easy about anything either of us have done. Going thru a nasty divorce only to contemplate one more ‘upheaval’ to move to the UK was a decision I had to think long and hard about. But I lived for 10 years with a husband who didn’t give me an ounce of what my Brit gives me every single day. I am unable to even contemplate life without him by my side. He is my partner in business, in love, and in life.

So cheers to the UK, and to all of you who have pursued love and opportunity fearlessly! I can’t wait for the adventure that lies ahead!

You’re not alone – there are plenty of rocky-road-to-get-here expats. Welcome!

So I don’t live in the UK, but want to! I’m a therapist and am just in the beginning stages of trying to figure out what I need to do and what sort of culture shock to expect. I studied abroad in Scotland my junior year of college and loved it! But we all know that college and real life are totally different I’m looking at current job openings, and wonder about the salary. Do you pay taxes there like we do here? What is the national healthcare system like as a patient? 

Thanks so much for any advice you can offer!!!

HI Florida gal,
Welcome to SNFY!
Yep, you said it, living as a student is completely different than you might experience if you return to Scotland as a job hunter.

We’ve written some posts in the past about some of the issues you raise, they are important ones– hope this is a start for your quest and good luck in this.
For taxes
http://www.shesnotfromyorkshire.com/2010/01/07/am-i-supposed-to-pay-taxes/

For healthcare
http://www.shesnotfromyorkshire.com/2010/03/27/healthcare-reform-from-an-expats-point-of-view/
http://www.shesnotfromyorkshire.com/2010/08/12/the-nhs-lets-people-die-and-other-insane-misunderstandings/
http://www.shesnotfromyorkshire.com/2009/03/12/this-american-in-britain-revels-in-free-nhs-contraception/

HI Florida gal,
Welcome to SNFY!
Yep, you said it, living as a student is completely different than you might experience if you return to Scotland as a job hunter.

We’ve written some posts in the past about some of the issues you raise, they are important ones– hope this is a start for your quest and good luck in this.
For taxes
http://www.shesnotfromyorkshire.com/2010/01/07/am-i-supposed-to-pay-taxes/

For healthcare
http://www.shesnotfromyorkshire.com/2010/03/27/healthcare-reform-from-an-expats-point-of-view/
http://www.shesnotfromyorkshire.com/2010/08/12/the-nhs-lets-people-die-and-other-insane-misunderstandings/
http://www.shesnotfromyorkshire.com/2009/03/12/this-american-in-britain-revels-in-free-nhs-contraception/

Reading your blog already brings to mind laughs and horrors of mine and a girlfriends current experiences. We met our British men a year ago in the states are are currently doing the long distance tango and attempting to figure out who is moving which way and how. I am an occupational therapist and he is a pilot, and when considering both of our careers, it is looking 99% me to England and about 1% chance that he will head stateside. I am excited and mortified at the same time when considering a potential life abroad ‘forever,’ but at the same time our biggest concern at the ‘mo’ is how to get me there without being forced into a marriage visa to do so. A year ago, it would have been easy for me to get a job and a skilled worker visa, but since the changes in the immigration laws, it’s looking bleak to impossible. I am currently looking into therapy work on US military bases as a civilian, but would also appreciate any insights and words of wisdom you can send to me in regards to the entire process of paperwork, finances, and legal hoops to jump through! Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, wisdom and humor (no ‘u’).  

What an amazing story!  Thanks for sharing…  I’m 8 months into my transition to the UK and everyday I come across a different kind of hurdle.  It’s nice to know that others are experiencing similar if not the same things as me.