Move to England and become a sun zombie…

Posted on May 27, 2010 by yankeebean

yankeebean

When I moved here in 2004 I used to laugh when the sun would come out.   English people across the nation would drop everything and wander, like zombies, to the nearest sun-soaked surface…

Free will was abandoned, the work day crawled to a halt, grown men walked through town centres without shirts on (*shudder*).   People scrambled madly at the sound of the ice-cream-van-twinkle; praying they had the essential £1.10 so they could afford the king of all ice creams – the Magnum… (freakin’ YUM!)

But the part that always stumped me the most was the reckless abandon when it came to skin care. It happened every time!  Half-naked Brits stumbled into midday the sun, where they would stay until they were burnt to a bright red crisp…  And it wasn’t accidental, either.  I’ve spoken to plenty of British people that set out to burn at the first opportunity so that it will fade to a tan.

Why oh why oh why would the pastiest nation set out to burn themselves??  Why??  (BTW, I’m allowed to call people pasty because nobody’s is pastier than I am.  I always said that if there was a concealer colour called ‘pasty cadaver’, that would be the colour I would need)…

The thing is, all skin care worries aside – I’ve DEFINITELY turned into a sun zombie.  I wear a layer of sun screen a foot thick, but I will drop everything and stumble into the sun, squinting and confused, at the first opportunity.  And there I’ll stay, until I’m literally drunk with vitamin D – until even the thought of sun hurts my brain.  But even as I limp back inside, I’m thinking in the back of mind, “This might be my last chance… my last chance to see the sun until next year”.

Especially with Mount Supercalifragilisticexpatalidocious erupting in Iceland… that ash-y bastard…

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What Others Are Saying

  1. :) June 18, 2010 at 8:55 pm

    So ladies, who did you cheer for during the USA v. England match? :)

    • peacefulyorkshire June 18, 2010 at 9:53 pm

      Hi there,
      I just wrote a post on the World Cup Loyalty dilemma, have a look my dear.
      Click here

  2. Julie June 16, 2010 at 3:47 pm

    Is this website still going? There hasn’t been an update in ages…

  3. Jana June 9, 2010 at 10:02 pm

    On the otherhand…I have children in British schools and they are obsessed with sunscreen and hats and waterbottles when they go out anywhere. I think it’s obsurd. Did any of us put sunscreen or a hat on when we went out to play at recess (playtime here) or for PE/Games? And I lived in a desert.

  4. Steve Shawcross May 29, 2010 at 11:13 pm

    Quoth Noel Coward: “Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun”. Or Englishwomen, or Scots, Welsh and Northern Irish– Manx and Channel Islanders for good measure.

  5. Ten Pounds May 27, 2010 at 5:02 pm

    Yeah, it’s part of our cultural heritage. And the further north you get, the more excitable we are in the face of good weather. Here in Northern Ireland we all throw on our bikinis if it even stops raining. The resulting sights are not always great, myself included.

  6. Forensic Spice May 27, 2010 at 4:25 pm

    Fabulous post! I set out to do some “burning” to my own sun-deprived skin on Sunday when the sun was beating at a hot 85 degrees! Like you, I always wear sunscreen, but I neglected by body and just used it on my face so I could soak up those rays…

  7. thechubbygrl May 27, 2010 at 11:49 am

    Seriously right?! I was just having this conversation (mind you in my head) about why everyone here was so red after this gorgeous weekend we just had. I come from Scotland now so I may venture that it could be worse here with the sun worshipping hahaha. My Hubby said he’s never worn sunscreen outside until he met me. *shakes head*

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