Defending the English when you’re not English
Posted on April 19, 2010 by yankeebean
I feel like Alice through the looking glass… I have encountered the assholiest American of all time and I am PISSED OFF. This must be how British people feel when they meet people like this… I’ve gone down the rabbit hole.
I’ll start at the beginning, shall I?
I’m in the States right now visiting family, and we went to see a friend of mine who was singing at a local bar. They were pretty good and it was fun… UNTIL the guitar player thought he’d improvise a song about how bad England is and how wonderful America is.
It was HORRIFYING… And it went on for a LONG time… And Mr Nice Guy (who, in keeping with his title, is a very nice guy) was FURIOUS. And so was I. In fact, I still am – to the point that I’m still having imaginary fights with yankee-arse-face in my head.
OH, how I wish that was the end of the story… but no… no it’s not.
We saw him again on Sunday morning and this is how the conversation went (imagine his parts spoken in a really snotty assholy way)
Me: Hey man, how you doing?
Him: So what’s with moving to England? What’s so great about England?
Me: Are you serious? Have you ever been to England?
Him: Is America not good enough for you? You’re too good for America now?
Me: Have you ever been to England?
Him: No. But my friend has…
Me: Why are we even having this conversation?
Me and Mr Nice Guy got outta there pretty quickly after that. I was bright red with embarrassed rage and Mr Nice Guy was steadily swearing under his breath. Mr NG is a peaceful man, but I do think that if we saw him again he’d actually result to violence. I bet this is how the American Revolution started…
I don’t know if I want this A-hole to leave the country so he can get a friggin’ CLUE, or if he should be forbidden from leaving so he doesn’t act as an anti-ambassador.
Please, dear readers – share you’re tales of woe with me. I can’t be the only one who’s tried to defend their secondary nation…
What a jag-hole…