You’re still searching: British Men In Bed

Posted on March 13, 2010 by pacificyorkshirebird

Hi there Readers,

There’s something us three gals have been meaning to talk you about. We’re loving our chats. You make us laugh, you make us think, and you ask the best questions! But there is a bit of an elephant in the room isn’t there?

I mean, there is something you still want to know. Don’t be shy. We know you’ve been searching for it, ’cause we see it in our Google analytic stats:

British men in bed.

There. I said it.

In fact, we did actually mention this once before.  But we’re not really experts in the topic. You know, monogamy and all…

So we kinda need your help here. Otherwise we may have to resort to posting links to ridiculous Daily Mail surveys ranking men in bed by nationality. Desperate indeed.

So…. who wants to go first?

Oh, and thanks in advance for keeping it classy when it comes to comments. You’re the best.

PS. I’m still the same PacificYorkshireBird, I just fancied a new picture. Hope you don’t mind.

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What Others Are Saying

  1. Yorkshireman March 24, 2011 at 2:55 pm


    Well, I’m a man… not an Englishman but I am now a British citizen.
    I find my wife to be cold, non-talkative and not passionate in bed.

    So much so that it has become a big issue in our marriage after 5 years
    together. I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve explained the problem
    to her and asked that she communicate with me in the bedroom, even just
    letting me know if she is enjoying something I’m doing. Nothing!

    I cannot get a word out of her. I don’t know if she enjoys it, fakes it or just
    cannot experience sexual pleasure. British women are definitely no different.

    In the last 3 months I have been speaking with a work colleague about my problem.
    She is Irish and so very very different… very open and talkative. We talked about
    just about every conceivable thing that can be physically done in a bedroom and now…
    I am madly in love with her.

    She’s married and moving back to Ireland and I am lost, alone and unhappy.

    I honestly don’t know what it is that goes wrong inside British people’s heads when
    they get in the bedroom but something switches off.

    Helen: you have my utmost empathy!

  2. Kim March 23, 2011 at 6:27 pm

    I just happened upon this site yesterday and have found it excellent reading. I am American and love to read about your experiences. I was in Yorkshire some years ago when my brother was stationed there for several years. I am going through a divorce but have since met a British fella online. He calls me everyday. Plans are in the future for a revisit to the area. I can’t comment on everything you all have posted but I did want to say that as far as my experience with him goes, he is very affectionate with his words and not afraid to tell me what he thinks. He is quite sweet and sincere and does not hold back. If it is any indication of how he is in person then I have no fear that he will not be a great lover when we meet. (That is if we still feel the same then). I appreciate the comments others have left. You cannot generalize but it helps to hear others experiences.

  3. Helen March 18, 2011 at 11:25 pm

    hello, ladies! I’m dating a british guy now, that’s my first expirience with a brit. I’ve read what you all wrote here. And I can totally agree with you about sexy accent – that’s something! And also he is really polite and just fantastic in bed, so passionate! But my concern is about something else. He can be pretty cold sometimes, not very talkative, and I wonder – maybe as british he just doesn’t demonstrate his feelings that much. Or maybe he’s not so interested in me? You know, we are together as a couple but sometimes I don’t feel loved.

  4. Emma hossack February 5, 2011 at 7:08 pm

    I am a Filipina, my boss is a 43 yr old Brit. I am married to a filipino with 3 kids. My Brit boss is so sweet, he shows he cares for me PRIVATELY. But in the office, he is very decent and just throw flirty smiles but he is VERY HOT WHEN WE BOTH ARE ALONE… I feel guilty because I am married but I am proud THAT I AM LOVED BY A BRIT…

  5. Yorkshire Yank November 1, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    I really don’t think you can generalize. I have only been with one British man – who of course, is amazing – that’s part of why I married him.

    However, I have been with quite a few American guys. Some were amazing in their own ways, others weren’t.

    I’ve known American men who were honest, flirty, sensitive, some who wanted monogamous relationships and some who didn’t.

    I am sure there are plenty of British guys who are ignorant, selfish, lazy, untalented, etc., in bed; I’ve just never had the misfortune of having sex with them.

    My experience of sex with British men would probably be very different if I’d grown up here.

  6. jacki October 24, 2010 at 2:51 am

    I think british men are amazing! I have become very good friends with a man I met last year in Chicago, where I live! He lives in Cambridge! We speak every day by email! Never thought anything of a british man! Even when I met him, we had a few drinks and that was it! We exchanged emails so I could send him my cousin’s coffee shop address in London! He has been amazing to me since that first email!

    • peacefulyorkshire November 1, 2010 at 10:18 am

      YES!! British men are amazing at times!!

  7. Gary August 30, 2010 at 10:17 am

    and where do I find an American woman in Yorkshire? ;-)

  8. Gary August 30, 2010 at 9:58 am

    Are you e ladies still talking about British men? well there are many answers to that question, the most important one is first finding a handsome Brit :)

  9. Jase July 2, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    Hello Ladies.

    Ok for bit of background, I’ve recently started talking to an American woman via skype and msn we are both in our early 40′s, we met via a popular dating site, she is coming to visit in a few weeks, i cant wait as she is the most beautiful woman i’ve ever set my eyes upon. she is also funny, Intelligent and everything i could dream of.

    Talking from an english blokes point of view and my own personal experiences, i was taught from a very young age by my father how to go about sex with a woman, we used to have these fishing trips, i was about 12 if i remember correctly, he would tell me how to treat a woman like a fine red wine, the longer you open her up to being sexual and allow that wine to breathe the more excited she would become till eventually you could pour her out and she would end up a quivering wreck so therefore the wine had reached its limits of its potential. Patience, undertsanding and always treating her like lady is the key.

    But on the other hand, sometimes the woman can take the lead and literally rape me on the spot, My goodness do i love it when that happens !

    I think its taught to us by our past girlfriends too, i think we generally find it easier to talk about sex than alot of other nationalities, hence the poster writing “there i said it” we are much more easy going and relaxed about it and its no big deal dispite our reserved reputation, when it comes to sex reserved we definitley are not !

  10. Marcia May 31, 2010 at 3:26 am

    Can only remember the one that took my virginity at 18 years old; – He was lovely!
    However, I haven’t had a British bloke since then and I’m not qualified to add my 2 cents to this post, but I’m certainly looking forward to it when I move back there!! (LOL)

    Note to self: Post an update to this site once I’ve gotten my leg over with my own kind ;-) )

  11. Forensic Spice May 2, 2010 at 12:18 am

    Well, I don’t know about you’re experiences, Ladies…but I just watched a show where they did a study on Brits versus the rest of the world and it was found that British men have the most bacteria lingering around and take the least amount of showers per week. Any thoughts on this?

  12. Very Bored in Catalunya April 20, 2010 at 11:00 pm

    Well I am probably far too late to comment on this but I read this first with delight and then with a shade of confusion.

    Are different nationalities really so different? I’m no sweet and innocent virgin and I married late, so it’s fair to say I’ve been around the block. I’ve gotta say other than the accent, blokes generally come in different sizes and different attitudes, regardless of where they were born.

    As nice as it is to hear that my fellow countrymen make good lovers I could point you to a few in my history that really didn’t (ie they were shockingly bad), and I’m sure that there are American men that are equally inadequate, likewise with the French and Italians…. oh yes, you can’t all be great in bed….

    I’m sure that the accent plays a huge part though, any accent that is different from our own is (usually) a major turn on for both parties.

  13. Lis April 13, 2010 at 3:45 am

    I love this post and especially all the comments. They’re making me miss my Bristol Boy tremendously!!! But he’ll be here in two weeks and I can’t wait to see him! ^_^

    To be honest, before my British boyfriend I had very little experience with men. I’m the type of person who wanted to wait for true love and never thought that would happen, so I was pretty content to be single and alone. Jack is incredibly affectionate and romantic, loyal and considerate. He can be vulgar if the moment calls for it, or incredible sweet and tender. Yet, I can’t compare him with anyone else as I don’t have much to compare him to. But I wouldn’t want it any other way. I’m perfectly content with having one lover for the rest of my life and and because I found true love with a Brit, I feel like my dreams are coming true. I have always longed to be across the pond. :)

  14. GingerGirl March 31, 2010 at 12:42 am

    In regards to the warmth/sincerity, I have definitely experienced that as he and I have gotten to know each other better, he has warmed considerably. Sometimes, its still a little confusing (I don’t know if thats the right word exactly, but I can’t think of exactly the right word) when we are out in public and he is less affectionate when other people are around. And as we have gotten to know each other, he has warmed up to the idea of meeting other friends and acquaintance of mine as well, and is less reserved and then he used to be. But like Steve Shawcross said upthread, I think it really is just how the relationship develops and how things would in any other relationship. Although, it does make me feel pretty special to go home and have lots of lovely attention paid to me when we are together, just the two of us. I think the reservedness found is similar to how any other relationship (personal, professional, friendship) starts with many people in the UK, and just like those, warmth comes with time and building upon the relationship. Just my two cents (pence?)!

  15. katieseattle March 29, 2010 at 1:24 am

    Let me start with a qualifier: I think it’s unfair to generalize. There is not anything in the water in either country (US or UK) to make the men or women better lovers. While one British man might be absolutely mind-blowing in the sack, it doesn’t mean his next door neighbor will be. That said, in my limited experience with British men (just the one): wow! Attentive, gentle (unless I indicate otherwise), patient, and generally amazing. He can be sweet and loving or completely filthy. The charm and flattery is nice as well: it never hurts to hear “oh my god, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen” in between kisses in that accent. *swoon* My Brit is not so big on the PDA, but I can’t seem to shake him loose when we are alone.

  16. Steve Shawcross March 28, 2010 at 7:30 pm

    I think the comment about British men being flirts is bang-on; but the reason the “warmth ends there” frequently, is because a lot of the flirting is ironic– it’s just part of our humour.

    It’s nice that many of you think that us British men are good lovers. However, can we generalise too much: For every southern European bloke who isn’t dependable, there are probably many that are. For every Brit that is reserved and isn’t so warm, there’ll be another who is the reverse, I’m sure :-)

    I think if somebody is too warm, comes across as insincere. Marketing people do it all the time, as do car-salesmen. If you’re overly warm straight away, I feel it comes across as an act (thus insincere), rather than you genuinely liking the person; I think loving someone (be it romantically or platonically) takes time, so you gradually warm to people.

  17. Wondering March 27, 2010 at 10:22 am

    This posting makes me very depressed. I have found that British men flirt impressively and like to have witty conversations infused with sexual innuendo. However, I have found the warmth ends here. I get sex but I rarely get a cuddle. When I have known southern European men (Italian, French and Bulgarian), I found them less cheeky in their conversations, but more physically warm. British men tell me that southern European men are all insincere and although they are less warm, British men will last the distance while southern European men are not dependable. To the British mentality, it appears that reservedness equals deep love and warmth equals insincerity. I wonder.

  18. FancyACuppa? March 15, 2010 at 1:29 am

    I’ll admit it, I found you lovely ladies googling that very term! And now that I have a little experience in the area, I am more than happy to share what I know….

    1. Really fun, adventurous and incredibly considerate. Although never one to ruin a moment, he always seems to be very careful about wanting to make sure that I am comfortable (no public school boy accent on this one, but isn’t it so funny to hear something like that when it can be the furthest thing from your mind?) and enjoying myself. They generally seems really into making sure that we are both having a great time.

    2. A good mixture of very sweet and very passionate. Everyone I have seen here so far seems to strike the balance just right, from those pin-you-against-the-lift-wall moments to very meaningful and romantic. Actually overall, pretty romantic in sentiment and gesture.

    3. (At risk of TMI??) Coming from the States and not having a ton of experience, I was unaware that circumcision is less common for men in the UK, and Europe in general. The first time it was just not something I was expecting or used to at the time and I must have made a face indicating so, because he said, “My friends told me that many more men in the states are circumcised.” Its really neither here nor there, but if people were looking for tips it might be worth knowing about!

    4. So much snuggling! I guess this may go along with the romantic, but there seems to be something that people really enjoy about just spending some time together in bed, at any time. Nothing is sweeter than hearing, “Made you a cuppa, now budge up so I can be close to you!”

    So, from being a googler of the topic myself to having garnered some experience, I have nothing but rave reviews!

  19. Expat Mum March 15, 2010 at 12:12 am

    Oh dear – I married an American. What on earth did I sacrifice?

  20. Blueyedflower March 13, 2010 at 12:25 pm

    I’ve been reading this blog with enjoyment since the absolute beginnings and have never commented before! But….Hallelujah praise the lord someone has the guts to bring it up, thanks for your post Pacificbird. I read that hilarious link you posted from the Daily Mail…British men lazy? Aww poor buggers that is NOT a good label!!
    I am in a long term relationship now, but here is my experience as an American living in Britain. (By the way I live in Swindon)
    British men in bed:

    Know what they want. By this I mean like not afraid to say:

    “Let’s try this position!”

    “I think you would look great in this so I ordered this for you online!” (always online though NEVER bought in a store )

    “Would you want to try (insert technique here)?”

    Are polite. I have been in the most unpolite, unlady like position and then all of a sudden the man in the most adorable accent says something completely polite like we were not doing what we are doing : ‘Oh Dear, am I too heavy?” It is really funny. Especially if he has a posh public school boy accent it is even FUNNIER.

    Don’t expect you to be dating other men at the same time This ain’t America where the habits of dating around and even sleeping with different men are more accepted. I once told a guy I was dating other men and it did not go over well! Just a word of warning.

    Might be into Drunken Sex- Well given the pub culture I have had way more Guinness (and Kilt!) infused rumblings then with American men. (Well, its so bloomin’ cold, what else is there to do after a pub night?)

    Are clever, witty and can hold their own in conversation in the lead up. I love that in this country the intellect of of Brit men can often result in great debate and then lead to great bed play.

    Can look like a geek or even a chav at first but then be a reallly really really really great lover. Adorning Tweeds and a pastel wooly jumper? Sporting some Fred perry? No don’t be fooled, it is a complete cover-up for all of the events described above….

    Conclusion: My experiences with British men have been really fantastic

  21. jackie March 13, 2010 at 10:55 am

    whoops…not only aspie but LD too!!! sorry for spelling the ‘deal’ word wrong!

  22. jackie March 13, 2010 at 10:53 am

    hmmm…since i am a writer and hope to tell my story some day, well, i am open! i am of the ‘days of the hippies, rock and roll and all that in florida so i actually have maybe more experience…maybe too much…than most of the ladies…and different nationalities…and i agree a lot with michelle. funny, too, even with the fact we are both Asperger, which makes sex less of a priority, i agree. also, my husband was raised in a tough, maybe lower middle class environment and not college educated though Mensa IQ, so maybe you with more conservative Brits feel differently but my husband is by far the most sensual and not-for-self man I have ever made love with…okay, okay, we are Aspie so not a lot…but we both thought we had to prove that stuff young anyway…but there is no comparison to back home. Intellectually, though, i am large and not pretty so maybe it was something to do with the opposites having a better time…but no, my 1st husband was the only fntastic lover ever..but with my Brit husband I have the full dela and that’s that!!! too bad living here hasn’t been as wonderful! have a great weekedn everyone and for those under 50, ENJOY!!!

  23. Michelle March 13, 2010 at 9:11 am

    I saw this post notification on Twitter over my morning green tea and I had to come check it out!

    My opinion? I haven’t been with many nationalities but I’ve been pretty content with the British men Ive dated (and married). In my limited experience British men are more comfortable with flirting than American men, perhaps more confident, Im not sure, but they also expect more out of a date than American men. The American men I know at the moment (who are not expats) are far less likely to flirt, even in a playful, innocent-in-front-of-hubby way than British men. My friends who are British men are more relaxed about sexuality, without being relaxed in their morals.

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