De-mystifying the ‘British girl’s night out’, or ‘Why do some British women dress like hookers when Saturday night rolls around?’
peacefulyorkshire
Ok, so the blog title is a little unfair. When Saturday night comes rollin’ in some British women don’t always look like hookers. No, sorry, my mistake—sometimes they could be classified as looking like strippers. I am still trying to decide which of the two is a better description for my Yorkshire city on a Saturday night. Stripper or hooker…wait, maybe stripper. Maybe a hooker slash stripper. Maybe a hooker with a dash and swoosh of stripper. Maybe a hooker stroke wannabe stripper. Whateveh you want to call it, honey–after 5 years of living on this little island in the North Sea, I am still trying to figure out why some British women let themselves pour out of their clothes on a night out. Yes, pour out is the perfect sentiment.
I decided to ask Cat, an English female friend ‘So, why do British women dress like hookers on Saturday night?’
Her response? Because they are desperate and on the pull. And they think it looks good. ‘
(Cat, a devoted Marks and Spencer clothing lovah is not one of these Saturday night ladies, mind you.)
I asked Carlo, a British football coach the same question ‘So, why do British women dress like hookers on Saturday night?’
His answer—–‘They do!?’ (I had some serious laughing at this point)
As an American living in Yorkshire, I think that I have started to figure out the ladies night out in Britain. It’s simple, my lovelies!!
- Just wear as little as possible in material as tight as possible. Got it, little and tight are your motto.
- If you have lots of flesh, don’t fret. Make sure it hangs out in abundance. Bonus if you can show your cellulite and cleavage.
- NEVER wear a coat, we want everyone to see your gorgeous Primark outfit– which shows off your white (or orange depending on your style!) legs.
- yes, let’s talk about legs. If your legs are ‘larger’ than most you will need to expose them as high up as you can show them…. like up to where your bum starts is fine, no worries!
- By now you should know that if you are really serious about your weekend then flats are a no-no. If you wiggle and wobble and can not walk properly in your eight inchers then these are the ones to wear!
- Oh and before I forget. Probably best to wear all the make-up you own at once.
And here you are complaining to your British man you have nothing to wear to your next Christmas office party?? Just look in your lingerie drawer!
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Dreamer…unrealistic?…do i care? on 
yankeebean on 
There is some weird formulae that means that the further north you go (and therefore the colder it gets) the less women wear on a night out! It can be terrifying. And that’s speaking as a Brit.
As a general rule, if 3 female generations of a family are out on the town, and wearing the same, ‘minimalist’ outfit. It’s time to go home!
HILARIOUS…. and so true!
I describe the get-up to my bloke as “a handkerchief secured with dental floss.” The part about the heels is hilariously accurate!
I thought just the chav girls dressed like that? Or do women who look normal during day time hours morph into their superhero stripper/hooker image by night?
nope, it’s ‘normal’ women too. it’s just the standard style when going out, whether on the pull or out w mates, at least from my friends. but hey, i nearly always am out in jeans, t-shirts and trainers and the places i go don’t have dresscodes, so what do i know!
Its crazy, isnt it? but reassuring too. It means you can wear any kind of outfit and be ok because there’s always someone who’ll look worse than you. Guaranteed.
As an American living in Yorkshire myself, I noticed this as soon as I moved over three years ago. My Irish husband and I were just talking about this yesterday after we passed three girls who were on their way out. The girls were all wearing essentially the same skimpy looking outfit (same style/color and same shoes, another young Brit-girl phenomenon I have yet to understand) when it was freezing outside. There we stood in our stocking hats and down jackets watching as they shivered, shook and drunkenly passed us walking like Bambi on ice in their matching purple stilettos. This blog is so funny and so true.
I agree that the further north you get the less they wear. In my day the hippie trend was to wear huge, second hand fur coats so we lucked out.
By the way, the other essential for this look is to have purple veins and mottle marks on your thighs.
so so right , i love this blog , made me laugh out loud.
Well, I’m not sure this is limited to just Yorkshire. I’m from Boston, in college in Boston, and I’m just aghast at how my classmates and roommates dress when they’re going out on the weekends. Last winter was really, really cold here, and a couple of girls ended up with frost-bitten toes because they refused to cover them at all! It may be more of a generational-thing, you know? Anyway, the young men certainly don’t seem to mind current trends.
Hi Erica,
Hmm… have you been in Britain on a night out, my lovely reader? I don’t think it is a generational gap as you suggest. I think that the difference is that in Britain (and not only in Yorkshire, this is an island-wide trend!) ALL ages of women enjoy wearing hooker getups….. not just the university students as you mention!! Oh yes, frostbite is erm, a very sexy look…. this goes with the mottled legs and purple veins that Expatmum suggests
It’s certainly true in places such as Newcastle, where young ladies are scantily clad– despite it being only a few degrees above freezing. I suppose the booze keeps them warm, the “barcardigan”.
I think the trend for not wearing a coat, negates the need to find a cloakroom and also the risk of one’s coat getting nicked.
I don’t see the problem with women dressing like this, it’s nowt to me; their choice, they want to do it I’m sure! It could be you have some decorum though
This is so true. I remember the first time I went out on a Saturday night here and was like – wow, British ladies got some confidence! What amazes me even more are the coordinated, inter-generational hen do brigades that roam around Leicester Square. The bespoke t-shirts make it easy to identify who is the bride, mum and grandma and all are livin’ it up.
It seems here in the Manchester area the girl’s start getting ready on Wednesday for Saturday night. Also I’m amazed at the great “self body image” that alot of the bigger girls seem to have in the way they dress when Saturday does come around.
I’m in the Midlands, and this is an accurate reflection of what they look like here as well. We don’t often go into town on a weekend night because of the crowds, but my husband says that one night we will, just to see the sights (crazy people) out and about in Leicester. I feel silly sometimes worrying over what to wear when we go out, as I didn’t bring very many clothes with me when I moved and haven’t bought any since I got here… don’t know why I bother at all, with the current “fashions.”
Must be why my english beau always refers to the women in the pubs as pole dancers….think I get it now.
Something I noticed in the Surrey area is alot of women seem to be in love with leggings. No matter their size or age. For awhile I thought I stepped back into the 1980’s. One thing to wear leggings but another thing not to wear a top that at least covers their tush.
Kicha, tell me about it, I know!! Inside though I am secretly jealous of those girls that CAN get away with wearing a short top with leggings… haha
OH MY yeah. It’s SO TRUE! My fiance is English and last month we were in London and one night on the way back to the hotel it was a weekend night and I couldn’t believe what the girls were wearing! Seriously, straight up hookers!
I wonder why if the reputation of an English lady is that she is very quiet and isn’t very sociable how this psyche could allow her to dress in such a manner?
@Justine: I think it’s more a reputation than reality! Your modern day Geordie lass in the Bigg Market on a Saturday night is a far cry from the likes of Jane Austen
I have to admit that when I was in my teens and early 20s I may worn some clothing that was a little bit tight or a little bit revealing.
What I was not prepared for, when I moved to the UK, was seeing women in their 40s and 50s – who look like they are in their 40s and 50s- going out with thick layers of black eyeliner and mascara and wearing tight tops with no bra and saggy cleavage spilling out.
Well, I suppose it’s nice that these women still feel confident about their bodies .