Moving Away: making the first new friends and the glow that comes with it

Posted on October 7, 2009 by yankeebean

yankeebeanI’ve noticed my constant use of titles with colons included (:)  I think it’s something I’m going to just going to run with – let’s not over-analyse this…

All that aside, I want to start with a single statement…

Moving is hard.

I don’t mean hard because you have to transfer all your bills, or pack up all your stuff, or make a lot of phone calls, or find a new job (although all that stuff is huge pain in the arse).  I mean hard in a quieter way.  Hard after all that admin-crap is over with.

The ACT of moving is actually incredibly exciting (yes yes, stressful, too) but really freakin’ exciting.  There’s SO much to do, so much to think about, so much that you have to get done.  And SO MUCH GLORIOUS POSSIBILITY.  What there ISN’T a lot of is ‘time to think’.  What will it actually be like when we get there?  How will I meet new people?  How will I fill my time when I don’t know where anything is?  How will I deal with the inevitable loneliness?  How will I keep in touch with everyone that I’m leaving back in town #1?

THESE, my awesome peeps, are the issue that I DIDN’T think about when I was wrapping drinking glasses in last week’s newspapers and wondering if my broadband is going to be up and running in time in my new digs.

Well, tonight I jumped one of the post-moving hurdles – The First New Friends.

It’s been 6 months since we picked up and moved down south from the gorgeous York-iness, and I’ve been through the standard moving phases (another blog on my extensive history of moving later).  I’m familiar with the standard rate of meeting the first real friends after about 6 months – and today (6 months and 16 days after the move – 14 of which I spent out of the country), VIOLA!!  I think I’ve made the first real friends!!

I’m flippin’ GLOWING – Mr. Nice Guy and I just got back from having drinks with another couple and we had a GREAT time.  No awkward moments, no weird looks, just all laughing and all chatting all the time.

It’s one of the big moving hurdles that I’m feeling relieved to have completed – AND they’re successfully invited to my annual UK Thanksgiving extravaganza on 26th November.  Shameless friend-making… HUZZAH!!!

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What Others Are Saying

  1. yankeebean October 21, 2009 at 9:32 pm

    Keep the faith, shefeeldown! I’ve been there (many many times) and I know it’ll get better soon.

    What brought your move to York from Cali?

  2. shefelldown October 21, 2009 at 9:18 pm

    Reading this post about such a positive friendship-making experience was a nice bright spot, and made me feel a bit of hope. I just moved to York from California about a month ago, and while everyone is so nice, I’m at the point where I’m really homesick. Even though I’m interacting with others all day, casual acquaintances just aren’t the same. I look forward to having real friends, and I’ll try to stock up on patience (I wonder if they carry that at Tesco… :)

  3. NFAH October 7, 2009 at 6:33 pm

    The problem is that making friends is every bit as tough, awkward and time-consuming as dating!!!

    • yankeebean October 10, 2009 at 9:35 pm

      NFAH – amen to that! It doesn’t seem like it should be true, but it is. Patience is key, I suppose (not that I’m exactly the poster child for patience).

  4. Miss America October 7, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    I totally agree that it takes at least that much time to meet, and get to know new people. I’ve been lucky enough to meet one really great female friend through my Gent, but there’s something to be said for making your own friends! There are some great meet-up sites out there for people in the same situation, and I hope they deliver on their promise of great people meeting once I make my way over to the UK!

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