My English man and our long distance relationship
Posted on March 25, 2009 by yankeebean
Lots of people find She’s Not From Yorkshire because they’ve fallen for an English man – and so have we! A comment left recently by Dreamer got me thinking about the logistics of meeting, falling in love with, dating, and possibly marrying and English man.
It’s not the first time we’ve been asked for advice about the long-distance idea, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. But, I always feel nervous about giving any kind of advice, because every relationship is different – and long distance relationships are SO hard and fierce and all-or-nothing… I never know what to say.
All I can talk about is my own experience, so here goes!
I met Mr Nice Guy when I was 16 and living in England. I knew OF him, but didn’t really know him for 2 years. But, one fateful prom night, we kissed and that led to us hanging out and getting to know each other more.
After 2 months, we knew were in love and after 4 months I got on a plane and flew back to America to go to University.
So begins the long distance! Emails at least three times a day and a phone call every day or every other day. Plus a flight every 3 or 4 months – we both worked our butts off outside of Uni to fund all this, cos what else can you do? Skype was just a twinkle in the eye of the world wide web, so there was no web-cam chats or anything so glam, but we used what we had. We got through the initial ‘trust issues’ although the deeply-rooted ‘he’s-going-to-meet-someone-else’ worries never really vanished.
Long distance came with built in worries, insecurities, loneliness, and jealousy but it was counter-weighted with joy, love, laughter and adventure. I spent 95% of my time waiting for the other 5% of my time to arrive. And when it did, I would spend 2 weeks with Mr Nice Guy love-drunk, hazy, randy and happy only to fly home crying and already planning the next trip.
It was really hard… but it was 200% worth it.
Everyday, I woke up and asked myself if I still loved Mr Nice Guy, if I still wanted him to be MY Mr Nice Guy and the answer was always ‘yes’. So I kept emailing and calling (and sometimes flying) everyday for 4 years until we came out the other side. If, for any reason, the answer had been ‘no’, I would have had to seriously think about what my next step was.
I hate remembering the ‘long-distance’ stuff, but I LOVE that it worked out (and mostly that it’s over and now we have a regular-distance-relationship). And as much as I hated the ‘long-ness’, it helped (/forced) us to sort through a lot of relationship issues and laid a really strong foundation for the rest of our lives together.
So if any of you are considering a long-distance relationship, or you’re smack-dab in the middle of one, or you’re struggling to keep one alive, we know how you feel! Any lack of advice is just because we don’t want to suggest something that will feel wrong for you – only you will really know what’s right… but we do understand that it’s a difficult situation – and we’re here for each other and for you guys, too!