Dear American man living upstairs and speaking loudly on your balcony
Posted on March 3, 2009 by pacificyorkshirebird
A letter I wish I wrote to my upstairs neighbor last summer:
Dear American man living upstairs and speaking loudly on your balcony,
You seem like a nice guy. I am writing because I’m sure you don’t know me even though I feel like I know you. I think you are from Texas.
Anyway, I live below you and I go to bed pretty early but I leave my window open for some fresh air. I can hear you and your friends out on the balcony. You guys have a pretty good time and I find the sound of your voice is really comforting – obviously because of the familiar accent.
You see, I have some really awesome guy friends back home and like my lady friends, I miss them dearly. You remind me of them. Except when you get drunk and become a jackass. But actually even that reminds me of them a little.
I don’t actually know which flat you live in. So, can you do me a favor? Can you speak loudly and carry and American accent so that I’ll recognize you in the corridor and then we can meet? That’s the only way I can think of to meet you without being a stalker.
PS. I am not trying to chat you up.
PPS. Can you tell your friends to blow their cigarrette smoke in the other direction please? Thanks.