Umm.. pardon me, could you pass some toilet roll to the stall on your left?
Posted on February 3, 2009 by pacificyorkshirebird
I’m not a potty mouth – I promise! But today I think we need to have a chat about toilets – you know, bathrooms.
Isn’t is appropriate that in Britain we ask for the “toilet”? Let’s face it, there isn’t much bathing to be done in the tiny, freezing rooms with unreliable plumbing called toilets. “Bathroom” no longer describes this space appropriately.
The worst toilet I have been in was in Southern Africa. The dirtiest bathroom I’ve ever run away from was in America. But I’ve been disappointed by more toilets in Britain than anywhere else so far.
Let’s be fair: British buildings were built a long time before modern plumbing. British buildings also have less space generally. And in Yorkshire there is no Harrods – just Debenhams and Marks and Spencer.
1. SOOOO many women leave the toilets without even pretending to wash their hands
2. Even if you do wash your hands you generally burn yourself or get brainfreeze in your fingers
3. One stall is ALWAYS out of order
4. There is a 50/50 chance of having any loo roll. Seriously, I think the chavs steal it.
5. Sometimes you go into a stall right after someone else leaves and the toilet seat is actually up. Umm, are women putting the toilet seat up before or after they wee? I hate having to touch the seat!
6. The only heat source is the pointless hand dryers that don’t work – my little bum gets cold!
7. The good Dyson hand dryers work, but I worry they might damage my jewelry
8. The hand soap has a really weird smell
9. Sometimes in small restaurants the toilets are also the cleaning supply closet. You have to stare at a dirty mop and rubber gloves while you wee and then brainfreeze your hands.
One nice thing about public toilets in Britain – you don’t usually get any gaps around the stall doors – better privacy.