I’m allergic to English train stations and airports

Posted on November 29, 2008 by yankeebean

yankeebeanI’m sitting on a train on my way to Leeds right now.  I’m only going to Leeds for the day, and I’m actually going to meet up with peacefulyorkshire and pacificyorkshirebird which I am EXCITED about!!

But I’ve just left York train station and I feel a little sick and emotional. There’s a lump in my throat, and my heart is beating really fast.  “Why”, you ask? Because I’m allergic to English train stations and airports.   And being an American that’s in love with an English man has made me this way.

I have accepted that I’ll always be pulled in two opposite directions.   That I’ll always miss someone somewhere, whether it’s my guy or my family.   It’s something I have to live with if I’m going to be with Mr Nice Guy, and I AM going to be with Mr Nice Guy, so I better just suck it up.

I dated Mr NG for 4 years while I was living in the US ans he was living in the UK.  FOUR FREAKIN YEARS of long distance.  Looking back it’s just a smear of phone calls, emails, plane trips, all-sex-or-no-sex, crying-and-lonliness or smiling-and-loved-up feelings. Even thinking of it now makes me feel kinda panicky… like a worm hole is going to suck me back to my College years and I’ll have to do it all again.

Over the years, I came to associate train stations and airports with the extreme emotions that go along with a long distance relationship.  I was only ever there because I was saying hello or goodbye to the person I love the most.

So now every time I travel in England, I get this slightly tight and panicky feeling.  And I just saw a couple saying good-bye on the train platform and I felt like bawling.  BAWLING.

I’m only going to Leeds for the FREAKIN DAY!!

They say you can discover new allergies when you move abroad.  Well it turns out I’m allergic to English train stations and airports.

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What Others Are Saying

  1. pacificyorkshirebird December 2, 2008 at 3:04 pm

    Yeah, it is so sad to watch people say goodbye to each other. I’ve done it so many times too. Mr. Charismatic and I used to wonder if there was anyone else doing exactly what we were doing at the time – the highs of saying hello! And the lows of saying goodbye and ALL THE WAITING in between.

    Turns out there are lots of couples like us but at the time it felt really hard to balance making long distance work without missing out on what was happening in our lives locally.

  2. peacefulyorkshire December 1, 2008 at 7:23 pm

    yes, that post sent me through memory lane with all the goodbyes and hellos of long distance relationships….
    its tough!!

  3. findamandah December 1, 2008 at 1:01 am

    “I’m allergic to English train stations and airports.”

    as am I.
    Brilliant piece.

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