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Trying to amuse Ms. English Muso at the Goth Cafe, step 1

2008 November 24
tags: , , ,
by peacefulyorkshire

yahooavatar15Yankeebean’s post about English women has been one of our most frequently read pages. She has got me thinking…. could I try to work harder at being friends with some English women in my work circle?

Margaret is a fellow classical musician, teacher, performer, my age, and lives in my city. Already we have stuff in common. It will be great, I decide.

The start of a burgeoning friendship, I initiate a coffee date.  Oh, but I won’t suggest Starbucks, no, that is too risky for a first date because I don’t want to look too “American”. A Goth cafe is what she decided instead. But no, she is not a Goth…

My Fantasy: Instant friends!! Leeds shopping pal! Do I hear an invite to her wild hen party someday? Whoo hoo!

My Reality: I can’t seem however to move past that barrier (you know the one?), where we talk about non-work related stuff.

I branched out to see if she has a boyfriend…. yes?  Oh Great, I say!

I thought, now we can moan about men in a camaraderie sort of way… Maybe I will even ask her for a good Yorkshire pudding recipe…

Hmmm… that didn’t seem to bond us either…

I KNOW ! I should ask if she knows a hip hair dresser, she has wavy long hair, too!

Ummm….. that didn’t work either.because her boyfriend cuts her hair, and no, he is not a hairdresser.

Got it! What is her opinion on Climate change? Hmmm…. no takers.

Some feminism, perhaps? No, she says.

We then get back to discussing musical things. Sigh…

Its just gonna take longer to break the ice…  so I ask, what are you doing next Friday?

A FACT:I once heard a smart Brit business man say “Americans will be your friends fast, but they won’t be your friend forever.British people will slowly come around but they will be your friend for life’.

I will continue asking Margaret out on on friendship dates—- after all, I can’t just have American friends.

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  • yankeebean

    I admire your perseverance, I really do. I’ve almost given up on the idea…

    But something I’ve noticed is that people that are half-and-half of ANYTHING are easier to get along with. I know a really awesome lady that’s half English, half French and she’s totally open about everything.

    Keep me posted about progress!!!

  • pacificyorkshirebird

    I was so scared the first time I asked an English woman on a friendship date. Luckily she said yes and we are still friends now. I think it helped that she was also new to the area and didn’t know anyone either.

    Befriending a whole group of English women at once? No chance.

    Keep us updated on your progress!

  • http://shesnotfromyorkshire.com/2009/04/23/a-reader-in-london-ponders-a-return-back-to-her-native-texas/ A Reader in London Ponders a Return Back to her Native Texas « She’s not from Yorkshire…

    [...] Taking the first steps to making friends with an English Woman and how hard it can be [...]

  • Lisa

    pacificyorkshirebird-you are SPOT ON….there is no way to befriend a group of english women at once…I attempted it and felt like they were turning to ice before my very eyes and sending me silent vibes to piss off. start with one and take it
    s l o w l y. :)

  • http://www.shesnotfromyorkshire.com/2009/10/12/i-am-tired-of-british-telling-me-what-is-wrong-with-america/ When random British people (that you’ve only just met) tell you what is wrong with America | She's Not From Yorkshire

    [...] Imagine meeting a British person for the first time. Imagine introducing yourself, answering all the questions that you get asked as a foreigner– like having to tell your “America to England” story for the zillionth time. Now, imagine randomly saying to this British person that you have only just met that people in Britain have  bad teeth. Real, real, bad teeth.That you have never been to a country where people have such bad teeth. That you saw this one 15 year old kid on the train and you COULDN”T believe he had such BAD TEETH. Now I am sure you are horrified about doing that, right? No, that would be so rude!  Plus could you imagine the wrath? It is hard enough making female friends in Britain! [...]

  • monica

    this is all so hilarious to read….i thought i was the only one to feel that way about english females! and i’ve been here in the uk 9 years! does it ever get easier? love these blogs though…

  • peacefulyorkshire

    Hi Monica!
    I am not sure it does get easier– thinking about it, I think that I have just gotten more used to it, and I don’t take things so personally as I did when I first arrived on these shores 6 years ago. Perhaps my understanding of English-ness comes with age and becoming ‘wiser’ as well, I think it is a combination.

    This gal I wrote about in this post is now one of my closest UK friends. It just took an eternity of coffee ‘dates’ first. (Hope you like coffee!?) hehe

  • http://www.shesnotfromyorkshire.com/2011/05/05/when-a-friendship-ends-british-style/ When a friendship ends (British Style) | She's Not From Yorkshire

    [...] was my first official British friend ; I even wrote about the early stages of our relationship because it was such a new exciting experienc…Unlike some of my American friendships, we didn’t ‘click’ straight away, nor did [...]

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