Showing off at Betty's Tearooms with your American family

Let me tell you now, fellow readers,  Betty’s Tearooms are not a bargain…but wait– its okay–because it is one of the best Yorkshire experiences, hand down. Don’t you think?

Its the place where you take all your family when they come visit you from far away America. See, you say, showing off a bit, England is just great, isn’t it?

Look mom, they have real silver tea strainers!

Uhh, dad, I explain, be sure you don’t drink your coffee too fast because this is not a diner, they don’t give you free refills here.

About that point Mr. Chill winces in pain when we walk in the door because he knows that he has to foot the bill, because aren’t we all a guest in his country anyway? He knows it won’t be cheap.

Betty’s represents what I thought England would be like when I arrived here, before views of council flats, chav mothers smoking on my street corner, horrible weather and complacent attitudes became my daily reality. Oh no, Betty’s represents the England of Cath Kidson, Princess Diana, red Double-Decker buses and paisley.

Betty’s is English perfection, those silver tea pots and fresh white table cloths. Indulgent lemon tarts and strawberry pies. The milky waitresses serve quietly in starched linens, zit-free and hair in a tidy tight bun.

Big portions?

Not a chance!

As we leave I purchase a 50 bag box of “Betty’s Tearoom Blend” so I can be more proper in my middle-class North England life.

Oh yes,  I relish any opportunity to imitate an afternoon at Betty’s…

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